Mad Love: Compatability

Series: Mad Love

Foundations for Compatabiltiy by Rick Shurtz, April 27, 2008

In this message, Rick talked about building foundations for love and compatibility in relationships, but he started with the analogy of foundations in a house. Let’s start there too.

1. Have you ever lived in a house (or do you now) where the builder did not do such a hot job on construction? If so, that probably means that something fell apart down the line. Has that happened to a house you lived in? Now’s the chance to get it off your chest: what’s your construction nightmare? (10 minutes)

2. Now let’s move the picture to how we construct our lives. As Rick said, we all have some sort of foundation – sometimes built intentionally, but often unthinking. Rick mentioned jobs and relationships as to examples. What are others? Try to list as many things as you can that people use for their foundation. (10 minutes)

3. As Rick said, we too can do a lousy job of build foundations for our relationships or for our lives, but not realize it until later. Try to relate this to your own life – either involving a relationship or not. Think back to some relatively early period in your life… 20’s, teens, or even childhood. Was there anything that you thought would be the answer to a happy, successful life? What was that? Do you still think so? If so, explain what has “held up” in your life since… and if not, discuss the types of things that change beliefs about how and where to build. (10 – 15 minutes)

4. The Bible passage below covers one of Jesus’ parables where he compares how we build our lives to building a house. He says that a poor foundation can’t hold up to the storms of life. Think about the “construction change” you discussed in the question above. Was there a storm in your life involved in that change? Or perhaps you’ve experienced a storm that changed your thinking in some other way. To the extent you’re comfortable, talk about a storm that has changed you in some way. (10 – 15 minutes)

5. Now take a couple of minutes to think back on the discussion so far: Are there any foundations that seem more solid? If so, discuss that. (5 – 10 minutes)

6. Wind up with some time to think about whether you could use a foundation check. Was there a point in the discussions when it felt like God might be suggesting some major foundation work… or maybe pointing out a crack here or there. Don’t leave without focusing on the problem for a minute… and thinking about real and practical next steps. Is there something you can do this week to improve your foundation? Stop for moment and ask God help you with the work… He likes doing joint construction projects and He IS a great builder. Make sure to note or write down any next steps you’ve planned. (5 minutes)

Jesus’ story about foundations:
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash. Matthew 7:24-27

Get more background and information:

• You can download or listen to Rick's message at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive (and other messages too)
• Check out Chip Ingram' book Love Sex, and Lasting Relationships
• Gateway Support and Recovery Ministries has a Staying the Course in Marriage Divorce Prevention program.
• Gateway offers Biblically-based professional counseling with Merry Fiske, that can help with relationship and communication issues.
• Search for other topics you want to know more about at the Gateway Bookstore