One Prayer: Make us Free from Shame

Series: One Prayer
Lord, Make us Free from Shame by Rick Bezet, June 15, 2008

We are continuing with the One Prayer series that links us with over 800,000 Christ-followers and 1400 churches all over the world. This week we look at something that separates us from God in a big way: our shame. (Note: it could be useful to have a Bible handy in a group discussion to take a look at Psalms 51 and 32 and even the long passages in Romans 7 and 8 that Rick used in the message - see below).

1. Rick started his message standing above the Grand Canyon... and looking at that 18 mile expanse from one side of the canyon to another. Have you ever been there? If so, tell a little bit a of your Grand Canyon experiences... or think for a minute about any experience you've had in nature where you've been overwhelmed with a sense of vast space. (5 - 10 minutes)

2. The comparison that Rick made is the vast distance that can grow between someone and God (and also between people) because of shame. But, before talking about distance, take some time to talk about a couple of words that we could understand better: Shame and Repentance. First “shame: What is it and what causes it? Then “repent”: What does that word mean to you? How can it be misunderstood? (5 - 10 minutes)

3. Rick told a story about a ticket he got from a patrolman. He said that we often think of God as being like a policeman. What do you think? Do you tend to see God that way, or if not you, then do other people? Why? (Describe different ways people might see God as like a cop). (10 minutes)

4. Next, what about the idea of separation/distance and shame? Have you ever had an experience in your own life where shame – yours or someone else’s, separated you from someone ? This could be something “big” or something “small”. Take time for those who’d like to talk about their personal experience with separation from shame. (10 - 15 minutes)

5. Rick described how God does not want there to be any distance between us and Him, and Jesus was His solution (see verses below for relevant explanations from the Bible). As Rick noted, when we “repent” we can wipe out that distance (see note on Psalms 51 and 32 below). First, discuss what would it “feel” like to be completely without shame. So, if we can get forgiveness, why do you think shame is such a problem in our relationship with God? Talk about what keeps us from getting there. (10 - 15 minutes)

6. So what about you? Does any of this ring true? Anything you have shame about, that you can’t let go? Take some time to think about that and then to talk to God. You can leave it behind by using the bridge that God built across the Grand Canyon in Jesus. Think about writing down whatever “it” is on a piece of paper and then tearing it up or scratching it out before God, and know that’s what He has done with it. Gone. (5 minutes)

Bible verses from the message
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Romans 7: 21-24

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Romans 8: 15-16

Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Romans 8:33-34

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. Genesis 3:7-8

But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. "Look," he said, "I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God." At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul. Acts 7:55-58

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:7

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2

For an example of repentance in the Bible, check out Psalm 51 where David pours out his “shame” to God and asks for repentance, and Psalm 32 where he talks about getting God's forgiveness.

Want to get more/go farther?

• You can listen to this message - and other ones too at Gateway Messages.


• Get an idea of where you are in your spiritual journey and customize your own next steps at Gateway's Discover, Develop, Deepen website.


• Want support in some area of your life - maybe where you are struggling with shame? There are different ways to get help at Gateway's Support and Recovery ministries.


• Need personal help with something big (or little)? Biblically-based professional counseling is available with Merry Fiske.


• Search for other topics you want to know more about Gateway's online Bookstore. or go to the virtual Bookstore on the second level of the auditorum at Gateway's main campus.

Getting Past the Past: Divorce

Series: Getting Past the Past
Divorce by Ted Beasley, October 21, 2007


Continuing the series on Getting Past the Past, this message looks at something so many people experience and that has huge implications for their present and their future. So how does one start to get past a divorce – or help others we care about heal from one? That’s the destination of Ted’s message.

1. While the reasons for divorce may be complicated – God’s feelings about divorce are clear: He hates it – see the passage from Malachi below (but remember, as Ted said, He certainly does NOT hate divorced people). Let’s look at God’s feelings more: Why does God hate divorce? List as many things about divorce as you can that would make God hate it. (10 minutes)

2. Ted used the story of Zacchaeus (see below) as an analogy for how so many divorced people react to Jesus – and also one that contains Jesus' prescripton for healing. Take a look at the first step: “up a tree”. So often divorce people feel separated, embarrassed, ashamed, or at least, completely off their game. Since almost all of us know someone who has been divorced or have gone through that experience ourselves, as either children or adults, spend some time in the group talking about what it is like – but only talk about yourself if you feel completely comfortable. Does it feel like being up a tree? How or how not? (10 – 15 minutes)

3. Now consider the next step: Hide and seek. How do we respond to people going through divorce? Ted noted that Jesus moved toward Zacchaeus with love and with truth. What do each of those qualities mean in the context of dealing with someone going through a divorce? Try to describe some of the types of behavior/responses that would say “love” and those that would say “truth” to someone going through a divorce. Are there any typical types of responses that would definitely NOT be on either of the lists above? (10 minutes)

4. Last step… Crossing the Line: Zacchaeus decided he was completely tired of what his life had been like to that point. He decided to move toward Jesus – and not just to move, but to change his entire response to his past: He committed to being generous. In the context of divorce or other relationship breakdowns, forgiveness is probably the best example of “generosity”. This type of generosity is not natural. For deep hurts it takes something supernatural to go there – to get God’s love and forgiveness first, and then to get His grace to give it to others. Think about any relationship breeches you may have experienced – whether divorce or something else: Can you think of a way that forgiveness “turned darkness into light”? If so, talk about that with the others in your group: What led to forgiveness, and what has been the impact of the forgiveness for you’re and/or the others in the relationship? (10 – 15 minutes)

5. Close by spending some time thinking about the messages that struck you during the discussion. If you have been through a divorce, what stage are you in now and is there anything God seems to want to deal with you about? If you know someone who needs to get past the past of a divorce, is there a way God is prompting you to show either truth or love to that person? Whatever you are hearing from God, write it down and also write down a time this week you will engage with Him to ask about your “next steps” in healing or supporting healing for someone else. (5 minutes)


Bible verses from the message:

“I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith.
Malachi 2:16

Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way. When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. All the people saw this and began to mutter, "He has gone to be the guest of a sinner." But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount." Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost."
Luke 19:1 – 10

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Romans 12:15

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 2:2

You were taught to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:22-24

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths . . . Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4: 29, 31-32

Get more - go further:

At the Gateway Bookstore you can find books on divorce like Divorce Care: Hope, Help and Healing During and After your Divorce (by Steve Grissom) and Broken: Making Sence Out of Life After Your Parent's Divorce (by Tim Baker) - or search for other titles: on-line or in the "Garage".

Want support? Maybe Gateway's Support and Recovery programs could have the help you need. There are special groups on Divorce Care and Divorce Care for Kids.

Need to sort through personal healing or your marriage? Gateway supports biblically-based, professional counseling . Contact Merry Fiske at merry@gatewaychurch.com or call Merry at 659-1256.

Also, check out other resources for personal growth at the Way of Christ resource website.

Remember - each Sunday's message is available by 5 PM on the day of the message. Past messages are also available for listening and download. Just go to Gateway's Sunday Messages. Free CD's of the messages will be available after the services at Gateway the following Sunday.

God in Sandals: Forgiveness

Series: God in Sandals
"Forgiveness" by John Burke, June 10, 2007

Today John talked about how we deal with the wrongs we do in life and our need for God’s forgiveness when we are in the wrong. Since the focus is on our mistakes, any discussion can be very personal – and possibly uncomfortable. So, before going further I think it is important to recognize that everyone of us have done wrong things. We know that… so acknowledging a specific is just getting more detailed about the reality of our lives… and it certainly does not make us any “worse” than anyone else. It’s also a good idea to confirm our choice to only reveal what we feel we want to talk about and to commit to each other to protect anything shared. Also, please be careful not to talk specifically about someone else unless there is no chance of any privacy/respect risk.

1. Much of the focus today was on the woman at the well who was going to be stoned to death for adultery (see scripture below for details). That’s a pretty harsh punishment, but it was what the Law of Moses required. So let’s start with punishment:
- In general, what do you think is the “correct” way to deal with someone doing something wrong?
- What about when the wrong was toward you?
- What about when YOU do the wrong?

Think about the three questions above and then discuss any the answers. Do you notice any difference in standards across the three questions? (If you have time and interest, you can also discuss whether you think God has any difference in standards). (10 minutes)

2. John talked about common responses to our own wrongs: Think back for a minute to something you did wrong (ideally in the last week, but you can also pick something else – maybe something you did as a child). Pair off and discuss the event with a partner and be sure to specifically note how you dealt with your wrong. Also discuss whether this is a common type of response for you. (10 minutes). Then in the whole group, identify as many different responses to personal wrong-doing that you can. Then discuss how well each one “works” in terms of mental/emotional well-being. (10 minutes)

3. In the message, John focused on three responses: to compare ourselves with others, to deny our wrong-doing, and to confess and ask for forgiveness, and repent. Let’s look at the first: comparing our wrongs to others. If you are a “comparer”, who do you compare yourself to? How would any of us do when we compare ourselves to Jesus (the best standard)? (Of course…we all fall short here). Discuss any thoughts on this. (5 minutes)

4. Let’s look at forgiveness – and again, discuss this in pairs: think of something you did – big or small that really hurt someone else. Were you forgiven - by yourself or the other person? How did it feel to be forgiven or how did it feel to NOT be forgiven? Discuss that event and your feelings with your partner. (Again – please be careful of other people’s privacy.)

Now – what about the other side of the coin: Have you ever had someone else hurt you? Were you able to forgive them? Either way, how does it feel now? Discuss this with your partner.

Now, in the whole group, spend a few minutes sharing about both sides of forgiveness? How does it work compared with the other responses you discussed before in Question 2? (15 minutes)

5. Let’s close by looking at forgiveness from a different angle: Have you ever thought that your wrongs against others, or their wrongs against you, were first wrongs against God? How can that perspective change our responses to wrong? Discuss this for a few minutes in the group, and then take some time for personal reflection. During these discussions today, has God nudged you about any wrong that is “unfinished business” for you? Maybe you are still holding a stone to throw at someone else that He wants you to drop – or maybe there is something you need to take to Him to confess and get His forgiveness and freedom? If so, pray about this individually this right now – or if it requires more thought or action, write down a time this week when you will pray about it with God, take action, and/or get other advice if you feel you need that. (10 minutes)

Bible verses from the message:

Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
John 8:1-6

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground....
… At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.
John 8:6-9

"Where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
John 8:10-11

“Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: ‘I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin, and I don’t commit adultery. I’m certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.’ “But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, ‘O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.’ I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Luke 18:9-14

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.
1 John 1:9 – 2:2

Related Next-Step Resources:

• The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancy (available at Gateway Bookstore)
• Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado (available at Gateway Bookstore)
• Jesus the One and Only by Beth Moore (available at Gateway Bookstore)
• Experiencing the Heart of Jesus by Max Lucado (available at Gateway Bookstore)
  

Want more... or something different?

Check out more information about Christianity at Knowing God available at Gateway's Way of Christ Next-Steps Website

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