God in Sandals: Forgiveness

Series: God in Sandals
"Forgiveness" by John Burke, June 10, 2007

Today John talked about how we deal with the wrongs we do in life and our need for God’s forgiveness when we are in the wrong. Since the focus is on our mistakes, any discussion can be very personal – and possibly uncomfortable. So, before going further I think it is important to recognize that everyone of us have done wrong things. We know that… so acknowledging a specific is just getting more detailed about the reality of our lives… and it certainly does not make us any “worse” than anyone else. It’s also a good idea to confirm our choice to only reveal what we feel we want to talk about and to commit to each other to protect anything shared. Also, please be careful not to talk specifically about someone else unless there is no chance of any privacy/respect risk.

1. Much of the focus today was on the woman at the well who was going to be stoned to death for adultery (see scripture below for details). That’s a pretty harsh punishment, but it was what the Law of Moses required. So let’s start with punishment:
- In general, what do you think is the “correct” way to deal with someone doing something wrong?
- What about when the wrong was toward you?
- What about when YOU do the wrong?

Think about the three questions above and then discuss any the answers. Do you notice any difference in standards across the three questions? (If you have time and interest, you can also discuss whether you think God has any difference in standards). (10 minutes)

2. John talked about common responses to our own wrongs: Think back for a minute to something you did wrong (ideally in the last week, but you can also pick something else – maybe something you did as a child). Pair off and discuss the event with a partner and be sure to specifically note how you dealt with your wrong. Also discuss whether this is a common type of response for you. (10 minutes). Then in the whole group, identify as many different responses to personal wrong-doing that you can. Then discuss how well each one “works” in terms of mental/emotional well-being. (10 minutes)

3. In the message, John focused on three responses: to compare ourselves with others, to deny our wrong-doing, and to confess and ask for forgiveness, and repent. Let’s look at the first: comparing our wrongs to others. If you are a “comparer”, who do you compare yourself to? How would any of us do when we compare ourselves to Jesus (the best standard)? (Of course…we all fall short here). Discuss any thoughts on this. (5 minutes)

4. Let’s look at forgiveness – and again, discuss this in pairs: think of something you did – big or small that really hurt someone else. Were you forgiven - by yourself or the other person? How did it feel to be forgiven or how did it feel to NOT be forgiven? Discuss that event and your feelings with your partner. (Again – please be careful of other people’s privacy.)

Now – what about the other side of the coin: Have you ever had someone else hurt you? Were you able to forgive them? Either way, how does it feel now? Discuss this with your partner.

Now, in the whole group, spend a few minutes sharing about both sides of forgiveness? How does it work compared with the other responses you discussed before in Question 2? (15 minutes)

5. Let’s close by looking at forgiveness from a different angle: Have you ever thought that your wrongs against others, or their wrongs against you, were first wrongs against God? How can that perspective change our responses to wrong? Discuss this for a few minutes in the group, and then take some time for personal reflection. During these discussions today, has God nudged you about any wrong that is “unfinished business” for you? Maybe you are still holding a stone to throw at someone else that He wants you to drop – or maybe there is something you need to take to Him to confess and get His forgiveness and freedom? If so, pray about this individually this right now – or if it requires more thought or action, write down a time this week when you will pray about it with God, take action, and/or get other advice if you feel you need that. (10 minutes)

Bible verses from the message:

Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
John 8:1-6

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground....
… At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.
John 8:6-9

"Where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
John 8:10-11

“Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: ‘I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else. For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin, and I don’t commit adultery. I’m certainly not like that tax collector! I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.’ “But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, ‘O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.’ I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Luke 18:9-14

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.
1 John 1:9 – 2:2

Related Next-Step Resources:

• The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancy (available at Gateway Bookstore)
• Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado (available at Gateway Bookstore)
• Jesus the One and Only by Beth Moore (available at Gateway Bookstore)
• Experiencing the Heart of Jesus by Max Lucado (available at Gateway Bookstore)
  

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