Mad Love: Compatability

Series: Mad Love

Foundations for Compatabiltiy by Rick Shurtz, April 27, 2008

In this message, Rick talked about building foundations for love and compatibility in relationships, but he started with the analogy of foundations in a house. Let’s start there too.

1. Have you ever lived in a house (or do you now) where the builder did not do such a hot job on construction? If so, that probably means that something fell apart down the line. Has that happened to a house you lived in? Now’s the chance to get it off your chest: what’s your construction nightmare? (10 minutes)

2. Now let’s move the picture to how we construct our lives. As Rick said, we all have some sort of foundation – sometimes built intentionally, but often unthinking. Rick mentioned jobs and relationships as to examples. What are others? Try to list as many things as you can that people use for their foundation. (10 minutes)

3. As Rick said, we too can do a lousy job of build foundations for our relationships or for our lives, but not realize it until later. Try to relate this to your own life – either involving a relationship or not. Think back to some relatively early period in your life… 20’s, teens, or even childhood. Was there anything that you thought would be the answer to a happy, successful life? What was that? Do you still think so? If so, explain what has “held up” in your life since… and if not, discuss the types of things that change beliefs about how and where to build. (10 – 15 minutes)

4. The Bible passage below covers one of Jesus’ parables where he compares how we build our lives to building a house. He says that a poor foundation can’t hold up to the storms of life. Think about the “construction change” you discussed in the question above. Was there a storm in your life involved in that change? Or perhaps you’ve experienced a storm that changed your thinking in some other way. To the extent you’re comfortable, talk about a storm that has changed you in some way. (10 – 15 minutes)

5. Now take a couple of minutes to think back on the discussion so far: Are there any foundations that seem more solid? If so, discuss that. (5 – 10 minutes)

6. Wind up with some time to think about whether you could use a foundation check. Was there a point in the discussions when it felt like God might be suggesting some major foundation work… or maybe pointing out a crack here or there. Don’t leave without focusing on the problem for a minute… and thinking about real and practical next steps. Is there something you can do this week to improve your foundation? Stop for moment and ask God help you with the work… He likes doing joint construction projects and He IS a great builder. Make sure to note or write down any next steps you’ve planned. (5 minutes)

Jesus’ story about foundations:
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash. Matthew 7:24-27

Get more background and information:

• You can download or listen to Rick's message at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive (and other messages too)
• Check out Chip Ingram' book Love Sex, and Lasting Relationships
• Gateway Support and Recovery Ministries has a Staying the Course in Marriage Divorce Prevention program.
• Gateway offers Biblically-based professional counseling with Merry Fiske, that can help with relationship and communication issues.
• Search for other topics you want to know more about at the Gateway Bookstore

Mad Love: Conflict

Series: Mad Love
Dealing with Conflict by Ted Beasley, April 20, 2008
We’ve spent a few weeks talking about what creates “Mad Love”… the type of loving relationships that God wants for us. This week Ted looked at something that can seriously derail love: conflict.

1. Ted started by asking us whether we could think of any old photos of special, love-filled moments with people from our past. Think our your collection of photos (or maybe the ones that were in your collection before you tossed them…). Can you think of any photo that stands out as special? It might have been with a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, or just captured you with another person/people in a special moment. Take a few minutes to talk about your favorite photo flash from the past. (10 minutes)

2. Opposite Day: Ted described an important “principle” from Jesus teachings called the “Law of Inversion”. It means that relationships in God’s economy are the opposite of those in our world… (“first will be last”, “give up everything and gain the world”, “humble will inherit”, and Jesus’ statement recorded by Matthew, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” - 16: 24-45). This is pretty powerful, shocking stuff. Is it true? Can you think of some real examples of the Law of Inversion in operation in your life or other people? If so, talk about that in the group. If not, talk about why you think the Law of Inversion doesn’t work. (10 minutes)

3. As Ted said, The Law of Inversion is often NOT the way most of us approach conflict in marriage - or any other relationship - loving or otherwise. Ted described a “need to win” mentality that many of us have when we get into a dispute. Why does that happen? What makes people want to “win” the battle, when it might make them “lose the war” in their relationships? (You don’t have to talk about this but, what about you? On a scale of 1 – 5, with 5 being the “MUST win at all cost” end, where would people who know you most likely put you?) (10 minutes)

4. Ted described five steps to better handle conflict in a relationship:

• Affirm the relationship (note how the relationships is important to you)


• Make observations, not accusations (describe events in terms of your reactions/feelings toward them – not the other person’s character… “when you do X, I feel Y”)


• Apologize, if appropriate


• Fight tactics, not people (if needed, note your feelings about the way the conversation is going and what is happening right then)


• End with a plan (how to avoid the conflict in the future)

For this part, divide into pairs. Then, with your discussion partner, take turns walking through each of the steps above and relate them to REAL conflict situations you’ve faced. If you can, try to think of situations where the step WAS there and how that effected the outcome. (i.e., can you think of a time when a “conflict discussion” started with something about the importance of the relationship? If so, how did that effect the discussion?) If you can’t think of an example, describe what happened in a conflict situation without that step. (please be careful here about identifying other people if the point is not flattering to them… disguised characters are fine). (20 minutes)

6. Next, in the group as a whole, go around and note any “best practices” that came out of the paired discussions. (5 - 10 minutes)

7. Take a couple of minutes to “end with a plan” for your approach to conflict. Maybe there is someone in your life that you’ve been trying to love, but doing it right side up rather than upside down? Do you need to do an Opposite Day with that person? Perhaps the “win at all costs” question hit really close to home for you: Do you need to have a conversation with God, and then someone else about that? Or maybe you need to test the Law of Inversion: Is there an opposite thing can you do this week – conflict or otherwise – that could test the Law of Inversion? Talk to God about this silently and if the Holy Spirit is prompting you to take some action – write down your plan for this week to take the next step. (5 minutes)

Bible verses from this message: (most from The Message version)

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” Matthew 16: 24 – 25

Anyone who sacrifices home, family, fields—whatever—because of me will get it all back a hundred times over, not to mention the considerable bonus of eternal life. This is the Great Reversal: many of the first ending up last, and the last first. Matthew 19: 29 – 30

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19

Jesus got them together to settle things down. "You've observed how godless rulers throw their weight around," he said, "and when people get a little power how quickly it goes to their heads. It's not going to be that way with you. Whoever wants to be great must become a servant. Whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave.” Mark 10:42-44

So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. Love never dies. I Corinthians 13:3 – 8

Get more background and information:
You can download or listen to Ted's message at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive (and other messages too)

Check out Chip Ingram' book Love Sex, and Lasting Relationships

Gateway Support and Recovery Ministries has a Staying the Course in Marriage Divorce Prevention program.

Gateway offers Biblically-based professional counseling with Merry Fiske, that can help with relationship and communication issues.

For more information about love languages you can read Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman
Search for other topics you want to know more about at the Gateway Bookstore

Mad Love: Committment

Series: Mad Love
Committment by John Burke, April 13, 2008
Continuing this series about building loving relationships, John talked about the make-it-or-break-it issue of commitment… something that’s missing in so many types of relationships.

1. John mentioned Chip Ingram’s book (see below) where he noted that a lot of our ideas about how love commitments happen come from movies, TV, songs, etc. Knock that around a little bit. Think of a movie/show/song about love relationships that you’ve seen/heard recently. What could someone “learn” about love commitments – how they happen… or not – from this? Talk about this for a few minutes. (5 - 10 minutes)

2. While John talked mostly about the big commitment of marriage, many people back away from even small commitments (i.e., go to a movie, help with something or someone, take on a small responsibility, etc). Think back over the last couple of weeks: Can you think of any point where either 1) you asked someone to commit to something big or small, 2) someone asked you to do that, or 3) you saw that played out with people you know? How did the “agreement” part go? What about the follow-through? Do you know, or can you speculate about the reasons involved? We’ll use your “example” here as the basis for part of the discussion below. (BTW - We all know that much of our lives feel like they are “over-committed” anyway… and we just can’t do more. We’re not talking about that. Rather, think about a request where it would have been possible to agree.)

- First, examples of someone not being willing to commit at all: talk about those types of situations. In the discussion, try to notice the reasons… in terms of either circumstances or personal style/preferences why the person involved did not to agree to do something they were asked to “commit” to. (think about both “given” as well as any “real” reasons).

- Next, talk about any examples where there was “agreement” but no follow-through. Outside of genuinely unavoidable events, why did you or others not act on the agreement?

- Now, what about the commitments that were “completed”, at least to the degree possible? Discuss what happened there: Were there any different circumstances or motivations? What made these commitments “work”?

Wrap up this part by thinking back over the discussion so far: Do you notice any common types of differences between the commitments that happen and those that don’t? Note these and then discuss any other reasons you think make it hard for people to make “commitments” in their lives. (20 - 25 minutes for all examples and discussion)

3. Now, let’s go back to loving relationships. Not all of us have been married, but most of us have had at least one important relationship where we were/are very committed – maybe to children, parents, or a friend if not a spouse. Think about any relationship you were/are genuinely, deeply, committed. Why? What makes you committed? Discuss only as much as you feel comfortable. (5 - 10 minutes)

4. John said that statistics show that “living together” actually decreases the chances for the people involved to have a lasting marriage. Any ideas about why that would be the case? Talk about that for awhile. (5 - 10 minutes)

5. Obviously we can only have a limited number of deeply committed relationships. But sometimes we want/need more than we have or the ones we have don’t really have all the “mad love” we want. Wrap up by thinking about your own relationships. As John said, God is our best teacher about loving relationships. John noted that God teaches that in REAL love there is: Commitment, No fear of judgment, No fear of abandonment, No fear of rejection, and No fear of external threats : (for specifics on this, check out the Bible verses below). John also compared Hollywood’s route to love with God’s:
“Hollywood’s” path to love: 1). Find the Right Person 2). Fall in Love emotionally, particularly when based on sexual energy 3). Fix all your hopes and dreams on that one person. 4). If failure occurs, repeat steps 1-3.
God’s Path: 1). Become the right person. 2). Walk in love. 3). Fix your hope on God and seek to please him through this relationship. 4). If a failure occurs, repeat steps 1-3.
Are you on the path to love in your deep personal relationships? Do you feel like God is suggesting a path correction? If so, write that down along with one thing you can do this week to move to or along the path to God’s type of loving relationship. (5 minutes)

Bible verses from the message:

"Haven't you read, " [Jesus] replied, "that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." Matthew 19:4-6

He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. Ephesians 5:28-30

We know what real love is because Christ gave up his life for us. And so we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. 1 John 3:16

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of judgment, and this shows that [God’s] love has not been perfected in us. We love each other as a result of his loving us first. 1 John 4:18-19

God has said, ‘never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ Hebrews 13:5

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you. Romans 15:7

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The Angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Romans 8:38-39

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us. Ephesians 5:1-2

Get more background and information:

• You can download or listen to John's message at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive (and other messages too)
• Check out Chip Ingram' book Love Sex, and Lasting Relationships
• For more information about love languages you can read Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman
• Search for other topics you want to know more about at the Gateway Bookstore
  

Mad Love: Flexibility

Series: Mad Love
Flexibility by John Burke, April 6, 2008

Last week John talked about how listening and understanding love languages helps build loving relationships – this week his focus was on being open to change.

1. Let’s start with a flashback to last week: If you were in a group discussion, the wrap up asked you to identify and change something about the way you listen to others, or way you use the “love language” of someone close to you – and to try to apply that change in the last week. How did that go? Did anyone use another person's “love language” or listen differently? How did that turn out? (10 mintues)

2. In this week's message, John talked about something that makes it difficult to be flexible in our relationships: our “rules” ... those things we learned along the way… often from our family of birth, that we unconsciously think of as absolute truths. John’s said one of his rules was “a dirty car means you don’t care”. Can you think of a “rule” you learned from your parent(s) that you later realized was not actually written down by God in the 10 commandments? How do you deal with that rule now? (Your can’t count the ones you couldn’t wait to lose … try to think of rules you actually “believed” and then later may have changed your thinking about.). Once you’ve got your rule in mind, think about what made you change your approach to the rule. Spend some time checking out each others’ rules and how they've changed. (10 – 15 minutes)

3. Now transfer this thinking to someone else: Have you ever lived with someone in close proximity (marriage, roommate, brother, sister, etc.) who had a “rule” that drove you crazy? Pick one and think about how you dealt with it: Did you just accept it? Bite your tongue and roll your eyes? Did they change? A compromise? Something else? Describe these relationship episodes in the group. (10 – 15 minutes)

4. Now, think back about the discussion over the last two questions: Considering all the stories, what sorts of things led to greater flexibility in dealing with rules... by you or by others? The list below has suggestions from John's message on ways to change. It may prompt some thoughts about what makes people more flexible?
- Adapting to differences
- Changing rules
- Humble yourself
- Changing roles and expectations
- Change your attitude
(10 minutes)

5. Now, let’s get kind of personal… are there any rules YOU have now that maybe drive the people around YOU crazy? Can you think of one of those? Or maybe you have a rule that stands between you and making or building better relationships. Take some time for those in the group who are comfortable, to talk about their rules that could be hard on relationships. (10 minutes)

6. Close by taking some time for some personal reflection on your rules. Have you thought of any rule, yours or others, where your rule (or your attitude to someone else’s rule) could be standing in the way of a more loving, more enjoyable relationship with that person? If so, write that down. Then think about the things the group discussed that help people be more flexible. Could any of those apply to your situation? Would you like to do what John suggested and make a decision to change your approach? If so, ask God to give you His grace to make the change you want and His perspective about the “rules”. If you can’t think of any rules that apply here, pray that God will bring to mind any rules that could be keeping you from giving and getting the love you want. (5 minutes)

Bible verses from the message:

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Mark 10:7-8

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 1 Peter 5:5-6

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21

Be joyful always. 1 Thessalonians 5:16

I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. John 15:11

But when the [God’s] Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace…. Galatians 5:22

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious--the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Philippians 4:8 (Message Bible)

Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching…you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32

Get more background and information:

• You can download or listen to John's message at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive (and other messages too)


• For more information about love languages you can read Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman


• Search for other topics you want to know more about at the Gateway Bookstore

Mad love quiz (from John's message)
Background
Our family growing up tended to be:
A) Rigid B) Somewhat Rigid C) Flexible D) Very Flexible E) Overly Flexible

My Thoughts
If you heard all of my thoughts, you’d say they were:
A) Mostly Negative & Critical B) Often Negative & Critical C) Sometimes Positive & Believing the Best D) Mostly Positive & Believing the Best

What I hear in my head when I mess up is:
A) Personally Condemning B)Self Critical C) Neutral D) Comforting E) Reassuring and Hopeful

Mad Love: Communication

Series: Mad Love/Everlasting Love
Communication by John Burke, March 30, 2008
Jesus taught that loving God and loving others is the core of a new life with Him. In this series, the focus is on loving others and clearly, communication enormously important to that. In fact, as John said in his message, communication is at the heart of our ability both to express love and to receive love.

1. John started out talking about listening – a key ingredient in good communication. We all know that listening is important… but sometimes it’s hard to do. Why is that? What are some of the things that make it hard for people (you?) to focus on what someone else is saying. If you want, keep a list of the “listening blockers” that come up in the discussion. (10 minutes)

2. Next, consider what good and bad listening looks like. Think for a minute about people you know, and try to identify someone who is really good at listening, and someone else who is really bad at listening. Take some time to talk about each one. First, the BAD (no names, please!): What does that person do, or not do, that makes you think they are such a poor listener? How did you feel when you’d been in a conversation with that person? Take a few minutes to talk about this in the group. Next, what about the good listener? What is it about them that made you tag them as really good at listening? How do you feel when you have been talking with that person? During the discussion keep track of the characteristics of good and bad listeners. Spend about 10 minutes on each type of listener.

3. Now, how about some practice? If you are in a group, pair off. Think about something that happened to you in the last week that was either an upper or a downer for you (Ideally, something that can be told in a minute or two). Select one person to mimic some of the characteristics of a bad listener and the other the characteristics of a good listener. Take turns telling your stories to each other. Be sure to note how your felt and how the other person responded to both good and bad “listeners”. Next, reverse roles with new “stories”. Try to remember yours and your partner’s responses and feelings. After you’ve tried each role, talk about the experience – and particularly note if there was anything you want to try to use or lose in your own listening style based on the exercise. Wind up this part by talking some in the larger group about the experience. (20 – 25 minutes)

4. At the end of his message, John talked about Dr. Gary Chapman’s “Love Languages” and outlined five different “languages”:

• Words of Affirmation (giving and receiving encouragement and positive feedback)


• Quality Time (time as a way to show you care and know you are valued)


• Acts of Service (giving and receiving kindnesses and practical help)


• Receiving Gifts (getting and giving tangible remembrances of someone’s value)


• Physical Touch (giving and receiving physical affection and personal closeness)

First, make a list of the most important people you love. Can you identify each one’s “love language”, either from the list above or something else you are sure says love to them? If so write that down next to their name. If not, listen to the next discussion and see if that helps you identify the language of your loved ones. So, next: Can you identify your own love language? Share some about what “speaks love” to you and why. As much as possible, give practical examples of the things that make you feel loved. (10 minutes)

End by taking a moment to review your list of the people you love and their languages. Should you change or add anything? What about your experience in the listening exercise: Is there any one thing you would like to change about your listening? Take a moment to ask God to remind you of these notes at the point you can use them this week – and if possible, take some time next week to report on any successes. (2 – 3 minutes)

Bible verses from the message:

My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12

Words of Affirmation - "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…let us encourage one another….” Hebrews 10:24-25

Quality Time – “[Jesus] appointed twelve…that they might be with him.” "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you….” Luke 3:14, John 15:9

Acts of Service – "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love". Galatians 5:13

Receiving Gifts – “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son.” John 3:16

Physical Touch - "Greet one another with a kiss of love". 1 Peter 5:14

Get more background and information:

• You can download or listen to John's message at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive (and other messages too)
• For more information about love languages you can read Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman
• Search for other topics you want to know more about at the Gateway Bookstore

Series: Famous Last Words
About Love by John Burke, February 24, 2008

Famous last words… this will be interesting: What were the main ideas that Jesus wanted his disciples to learn before He left? In this message, John explores one of those: What is love. That’s sure something worth learning.

1. In last week’s Second Helpings you started by thinking of a song that had fired you up to change the world. Let’s try that idea again… but his time it will be even easier… a song about love… after all, there must be a million of them. Think of a song about love that was important to you or you really liked for whatever reason. Spend some time talking about “Your Song” (… guess I’ve told you mine), and whatever you’d like to share about why you liked it: i.e., who it makes you think of, when you first heard it, when it was popular, the words, the tune… whatever. (10 minutes)

2. John focused on how Jesus’ teachings on love were completely different from most of the “love” messages we get in our world. As John told us, much of what we learn about love in this world is is based on the idea of attraction because of what someone or something can do for us in some way (the Greek word is Eros.) No surprise, this is NOT the kind of love Jesus focused on. He wanted to talk about the type of love that is about giving not getting… even self-sacrificing when called for. The Greek word for this kind of love is Agape). While Agape-love is not what we hear so much about, most of us have known, or at least have met, someone who shows that kind of love – at least sometimes. Can you think of someone who you know who seems to operate with that sort of love? Think about that person for a minute and then go around the group, say who the person is, and then describe them with other words that “fit” that person (i.e., caring). Keep a list going of the words that describe people who show Agape-type love. (10 minutes)

3. Next, look at the other kind of love. Don’t name names… but think of someone who seems to search for Eros-type love – attraction based on what another does for them. What sort of words describe that individual. Share these word descriptions, keeping a list of those as well. (10 minutes)

4. Now, compare your lists: My bet is that the Agape list looks a LOT more desirable. It’s the paradox John talked about (and Jesus did too): The real blessings come when we give. Have you ever experienced that? If there is sometime when you loved someone with mostly Agape-type love. What did that feel like? Spend some time for those who would like to share any experiences… and particularly what THEY gained from the giving. (10 – 15 minutes)

5. Obviously, if we want all those good qualities and “blessings” all we have to do is show Agape, self-sacrificing love all the time. Uh-oh… one problem: That is HARD. Want to see how hard? Look at the Bible verse below from I Corinthians 13 (4 – 6).

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Do you know anyone besides Jesus… even your “Agape-person” who is like that all the time? So what’s up? Does Jesus REALLY expect us to be like that? In the message, John talked about how it is the Holy Sprit who gives us the ability to love like that. Does anyone have any experience of having God prompt them to show love in a situation where they would not have otherwise. How did that work? Take a few minutes to share about that. (And note the “Next Steps” below for more on John’s messages on how to stay connected to the Holy Spirit and be better able to tap into His Agape-love). (10 minutes)

6. Maybe this message on love has prompted you to think of someone God wants you to show His love to. If so, write down that person’s name and close by asking God to show you how to love more like Him in specific ways. If there is something you need do this week, write that down too. (2 minutes)

Bible verses from the message:
After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, “Do you understand what I was doing? You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them. John 13:12-17

Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he it come from God and was returning to God; so.... John 13:3

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:9-13

God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Get more (love)... go further:

• To learn more about how to love better and more by staying connected to God, check out the "Holy Who?" messages from last November 11, 18, and 25. You can download or listen at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive. You can WATCH this past Sunday's message at that site too.
• Gateway's Way of Christ on-line resource pages have several ideas for how to grow more in Loving People: Books, videos, and other ideas to build relationships.