Courageous Living: Parenting

Series: Courageous Living
Parenting by John Burke, September 9, 2007

It doesn’t matter whether you are a parent or not. This message applies to you. One way or another – we’ve all HAD parents – or at least parent substitutes, and usually the imprint they have had on our lives has a big impact on the way we treat (or will treat) our own children… or an impact on other people that we direct, coach and “train” in other ways (work, sports, church, hobbies, etc.). It’s worth taking a look at what courageous parenting looks like and what we can learn from our own parenting experiences.

(If you are discussing this in a larger group – there will be some thinking, note taking and then some sharing in pairs, as well as the group overall. So be sure you have a paper and pen and select a discussion partner.)

1. John started out by noting how hard it is to be a parent today. He said that parenting is, in many ways, a spiritual battle. An interesting first step could be to get a handle on how and why parenting is such challenge… and why it takes courage. Take about 10 minutes to list some of the reasons why it is hard to be a good parent.

2. In the message John outlined three key aspects parenting:

• Blessings (affirming the real and good parts of a child’s character)
• Discipline (training/reinforcing good behavior and discouraging unacceptable behavior)
• Protection (taking care of and shielding from harm – either immediate or eventual).

Let’s take a look at the person that is/wants ot be our ultimate parent – God himself: Go around the group, and give an example of how you see, or have experienced God in one of those ways. This can be “conceptual” (i.e., He provides for our physical needs) or detailed and personal (for example, a time when you experienced very specific protection from Him). (10 minutes)

3. Now, what about our parents here on earth? In the message, John urged us to really think through our own parents (or the persons that played a parent role for us). Naturally you can’t do this thoroughly in a group, but try to begin the process now. First, think about the three key areas of parenting. Then, start with “Blessings” and think about a way, or an example of how, your parent(s) affirmed/encouraged who you are … or if not your parent – someone else. Write that down. NOW – see whether you can think of a an example of how you have parented someone else in a very similar way (either your own children – or in some other role). Write that down too. Now pair off and share your examples with each other.

Now go through the same process for Discipline and Protection.
Take 7 – 10 minutes for each area of parenting.

4. Next in the group, share some of your insights from the paired discussions. Try to focus on two questions: (10 minutes)

• Do people tend to be parents in the same way they were parented? Note examples.
• When people DON’T parent in the same way… why not? What makes things different for them?
  

5. As usual, let’s close with personal reflection. Just spend a few minutes thinking about whether you have noticed anything that you want to think through more. Is there some aspect of your parenting (whether you are an actual parent or not) that you want to change? If so, write that down. But don’t stop there… think of ONE way you can demonstrate that change this week and write it down. If you think you need to do a more extended “inventory” of your own parental experiences as John suggested, write down when you can make an appointment with yourself to go deeper. (Also, check out the Parenting workshop that Kathy Burke will be doing on October 14th - see below). Close by looking at the prayer from Ephesians 3:14 - 19 below. Pray that prayer for your child or someone else you can support and ask God to help you make that real. (3 – 5 minutes).


Bible verses from message:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against…the spiritual forces of evil.
Ephesians 6:12.

I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Ephesians 3:14-19

Encourage one another daily…so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13

Do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6

“You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
John 8:31-32

Related Next-Step Resources:

• Gateway U Parenting Workshop with Kathy Burke on October 14th
• Search for books on Parenting at the Gateway Bookstore.
• Take a look at lots of different ways to get involved at Gateway along with a test gauge your talents and spiritual gifts at Gateway activities at the One Body Gateway website.
• Check out spiritual growth resources at Gateway's Way of Christ Next-Steps Website)
• Prior Sunday message is usual available by the Tuesday following the message (audio available at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive)
  
  

God in Sandals – Speaking Truth

Series: God in Sandals
Speaking Truth by Rick Shurtz, July 8, 2007

In the message this Sunday, Rick talked about how Jesus’ message was so radically different from the conventional wisdom of His time… and so radically different from the culture and beliefs of our own time as well. Rick also emphasized how disturbing Jesus’ message can be at times. But Jesus loves us enough to disturb us when we become comfortable in ways that are upside down to the real “best” He offers us.

Though this is not essential to your answers, it could be fun to start by reviewing the story of Rick’s Three Day War (against the ants) – particularly if there was anyone in the group who did not hear Rick’s message. Ultimately the ants “lost” because they were driven by their attraction for the ant bait. Will take up that theme later in the questions.

1. Let’s start by trying to get a picture of what happens when people “bring bad tidings” … even if the news is true. Think back over the last month (or longer): Can you remember any situation where someone (maybe you) delivered an “unwelcome” message that was true – or even just possibly true? How did other people react? Spend a few minutes sharing experiences and then try to summarize the types of responses that are common when people tell/get unwanted information.

2. So what about you? Have you ever been the target of information that you were not happy to hear, but turned out to be true and useful? What was you first reaction? Did you thinking change? When did you think differently - and why? Take some time to discuss any experiences and observations what changes “bad” news into good news.

3. In most cases, most of us don’t like to be “disturbed” by unwelcome truths. But as Rick pointed out – Jesus kept on disturbing people. One way He turned things upside down is by promising that “the first would be last, and the last first”. Spend some time in the group, talking about that: What are things that make someone “first” in this world? What about the things that make some people “last”? Discuss this for a few minutes and make two lists if there are several different answers. Next, list the things that will make someone “first” in the long-term of eternity? Discuss any differences across your lists.

4. Another very clear example of Jesus giving a radical message is His conversation with the “rich young man” (see story below in Bible verses). Jesus put a laser beam on the very thing that was keeping this guy from having real life and happiness and then prescribed radical surgery. Let’s try our own test. Think for a moment: Can you identify something that was a really big disappointment for you at some point in your life? Write that down. Now spend some time thinking about what you had hoped for that made the outcome you got so “disappointing”? Is this something you still hope for? Of if you have it, do you cling to it? Write down any observations and then share in the group as you’d like.

5. We’ll end by going back to one of the lessons of Rick’s ant war. Remember, the ants lost because they were attracted to the wrong thing – something they thought was good, but ended up being the source of their extermination. Let’s consider a disturbing question: Are you grasping onto or grasping after something(s) that you hope will give you life and happiness, but might actually take life away? If so, write down what you are thinking, then write down a time this week when you can come back and talk to God more about what to do – particularly if you are thinking you might need some radical surgery. (To soften any disturbing “bad” news about surgery, be sure to take a look at the good news Jesus give you in John 16:4 at the bottom of the Bible verses below).

Bible verses from this message

As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him. He fell on his knees before Jesus. "Good teacher," he said, "what must I do to receive eternal life?"
"Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good except God. You know what the commandments say. 'Do not commit murder. Do not commit adultery. Do not steal. Do not give false witness. Do not cheat. Honor your father and mother.' " (Exodus 20:12-16; Deuteronomy 5:16-20). "Teacher," he said, "I have obeyed all those commandments since I was a boy."
Jesus looked at him and loved him. "You are missing one thing," he said. "Go and sell everything you have. Give the money to those who are poor. You will have treasure in heaven. Then come and follow me."
Mark 10: 17 - 21

…whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the good news will save it.
Mark 8:35

…many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.
Mark 10:31

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
Matthew 7:13-14

Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack, he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give it to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
Mark 10:21

If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out.
Mark 9:44
(PARAPHRASE: If you hold in your little pincher something that keeps you from God, better to do without pinchers than to miss out on all the good God wants to give you.)

But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.
Matthew 19:30

…whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even Christ himself did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
Mark 10:45

Jesus said, “I am…the life.”
John 14:6

Related Next-Step Resources:

• The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancy (available at Gateway Bookstore)
• Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado (available at Gateway Bookstore)
• Jesus the One and Only by Beth Moore (available at Gateway Bookstore)
• Experiencing the Heart of Jesus by Max Lucado (available at Gateway Bookstore)
  

Want more... or something different?

Check out more information about Christianity at Knowing God available at Gateway's Way of Christ Next-Steps Website

Prior Sunday message on date (audio available at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive) (the most recent Sunday message is usually available by the following Tuesday at this site)