Nobody Stands Alone - A New Kind of Family

Series: Nobody Stands Alone
A New Kind of Family by John Burke, September 14, 2008

Family. Who is/was our family and what does that mean for our relationship with God? This is not a casual question and it can touch on some things that may be pretty sensitive and/or personal. Before you start the questions, if family is a tough issue for you, try to be willing to be open, but also remember that you don’t have to go deeper than you want to. It also might be good to start with some prayer for new perspectives on God and how we think about Him… and an open, genuine place for that to happen.

1. If you were at Gateway for this message, there was a video at the start.. with a guy talking about his chin scar that was invisible to him. If you’ve lived on the earth any time at all , you probably have some scars too. There may even be some good stories associated with one or two of them. Do you have any scars that come with an interesting tale? If you do, pick one and share your story. (10 minutes)

2. In the message, John made the point that all of us have emotional and spiritual scars that we pick up along the way… just like the real ones you’ve talked about – but often not so visible. Often we think of these scars as weaknesses, but in fact they could be a strength. John told the story of the judo champion who had lost an arm – and who was so good at judo because he learned to make a move that could only be defended against by grabbing the missing arm. The weakness became his strength. Let’s explore that idea more. Can you think of other examples in your personal or general knowledge (i.e. Lance Armstrong was able to “reshape” his body after recovering from cancer). Talk about any other examples you can think of where a weakness becomes a strength. Did the weakness become a strength naturally, or did it take some training? (10 minutes)

3. Now let’s try to apply this idea to ourselves. If you are in a larger group, pair off for this part. First, take a moment or two and try to think of some aspect of your past that caused you to do things differently… and in a way that you’d now think of as a “weakness” of some sort. Take 3-4 minutes to share what that is with your discussion partner. Now, after you have both shared your “weakness”, take a few more minutes to take turns brainstorming with each other: Can you think of ways that the weakness could be turn into a strength with the right “training”? Finally, in the group as a whole, take some time to discuss any insights that came out of your pair discussions. (20 - 25 minutes)

4. Next, let’s switch gears as bit…. John said that we often tend to see God through the lens of our relationship with our own fathers or parental figures. Some fathers are good, some are bad… but nearly NO father is perfect… or at least they likely did something that annoyed us. Think about yours for a minute and see whether you can identify any one “negative”. And then ask yourself whether you see God being like your Father that way… or maybe you did at some point. Then, go around the group and take a quick inventory of how many people tended to think God is/was like some “negative” aspect of their own father. The idea is to test the idea of whether that “transfer” is common. Details are not required, but allow time for anyone who has a question about what they think God is like to toss it out for others to comment on their experience/knowledge of God. (10 minutes)

5. As you wrap-up this particular message and discussion, you may want to use some extra time for personal reflection and prayer. Take a few minutes for people to think back on their weaknesses – and also to think about their images of God from there own father: Is there any relationship there for you? Whether there is or not, God may be trying let you know Him better - possibly as someone who turns weaknesses into strengths. If you think there is something you need to pray about, do that now…. and if you are in a group, feel free to ask the group to pray for you in any area you’d like to ask God for some “re-training”. (5 – 10 minutes)

Bible verses from the message

He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God. John 1:12-13

God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. 1 John 4:9-12

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. If we say we love God yet hate a brother or sister, we are liars. For if we do not love a fellow believer, whom we have seen, we cannot love God, whom we have not seen. And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love one another. 1 John 4:18-21

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged …How can you say, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from the other person's eye…” “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:1-5, 12

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