Been there, done that. Now what?: Peace

Series: Been There, Done That
Peace by Ted Beasley - October 7, 2007

Today Ted wrapped up this series on Ecclesiastes with one of the bottom lines in our search for meaning in life: Peace.

1. So what about peace? Start by trying to get an illustrated picture of what peace is like. Come up with some words that describe what peace “feels” like. Can you think of a time you really felt at peace? If so, when was that (and if relevant, how did you get there?). (10 minutes)

2. Now, try a question to set up a key concept in the message: What percentage of your life is genuinely filled with peace? (and before you answer… remember the self-serving bias that Ted talked about… the tendency we all have to categorize ourselves in more favorable categories – i.e., the survey of teen-agers where 0% categorized themselves as “below average” in interpersonal skills. Hmmmmmm). Spend some time talking about why peace is often the exception in our lives. (5 - 10 minutes)

3. Ted set up a framework (roughly based on an Harvard Business Review article by Bruch and Ghoshal's called "Beware the Busy Manager") that both helps us understand why we might be missing out on God’s promise of peace and to help us get it. The framework looks at both a person’s level of energy and their level of focus on the right things to spend that energy doing. According to the framework there are four basic types of people:

• Distracted: High energy but low focus… going from one thing to another (with too many balls in the air to have clear direction – or peace)
• Procrastinator: Low energy and low focus… would rather not do – anything (but with no sense of accomplishment or peace)
• Disengaged: High focus but low energy…knows the right way to go but has run out of steam to get ther (and lost the sense of peace and purpose that moving forward provides)
• Purposeful: Got it… moving toward God and able to chose between the things that move them forward and the things that just move them anywhere.
  
  Because this is all a bit conceptual, start by taking some time to just talk about each of these orientations in the group. Try to nail down what they are like in a non-“spiritual” context. Try to personally related to each one. Maybe there are different aspects of your life where you have different orientations (i.e., procrastinator at work but very purposeful about friendships). Discuss this until you feel you have a good idea of what these approaches to life are like. (10 minutes)

4. Next do some spiritual application. If you are in a group, pair off and talk about your spiritual orientation. Is there one that best fits your spiritual history? Has that always been your orientation? If not, what stages have you gone through? Which orientation is the best fit for your spiritual walk right now? Take time for each person to talk about their roadmap. If either of you feel that you’d like to move further into peace, brainstorm with each other about different things you could do to move toward being more “purposeful”. Remember to keep in mind each person’s orientation. (15 minutes)

5. If you're in a group, take 5 – 10 minutes to share any insights that came out of the one-on-one discussions.

6. End with some personal reflection. Did the discussion give you any idea of a small step you want to take toward God and His peace? Is there something you can start this week? If so, write down your step(s) and then pray that God will help you move toward the peace you can have when you’re on the road toward Him and taking the steps to get closer. (2-3 minutes)


Bible verses from the lesson:

This is the evil in everything that happens under the sun: The same destiny overtakes all. The hearts of men, moreover, are full of evil and there is madness in their hearts while they live.
Ecclesiastes 9:3

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them."
Ecclesiastes 12:1

Find peace before the keepers of the house tremble, and the strong men stoop, when the grinders cease because they are few, and those looking through the windows grow dim.
Ecclesiastes 12:3

when the doors to the street are closed and the sound of grinding fades; when people rise up at the sound of birds, but all their songs grow faint.
Ecclesiastes 12:4

when the almond tree blossoms and the grasshopper drags itself along and desire no longer is stirred.
Ecclesiastes 12:5

The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.
Isaiah 32: 17-18

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
Matthew 7 :13-14

Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let your hands not be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.
Ecclesiastes 11:6

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. . . So then, if you know the good you ought to do and don't do it, you sin.
James 4:14,17

I have seen their ways, but I will heal them; I will guide them and restore comfort to them, creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel. Peace, peace, to those far and near," says the LORD. "And I will heal them."
Isaiah 57:18-19

Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body. Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the [duty] of every human being.
Ecclesiastes 12: 12-13

Jesus tells a crowd, It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest seed you plant in the ground. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds of the air can perch in its shade.
Mark 4: 31-32

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.
Acts 3:19

Get more - go further:

Remember - each Sunday's message is available by5 PM on the day of the message. Past messages are also available for listneing and download. Just go to Gateway's Sunday Messages. Free CD's of the messages will be available after the services at Gateway the following Sunday.

Check out the following books and others that are relevant at Gateway's on-line Bookstore (and in the Gateway "Garage")

• Safest Place on Earth by Larry Crabb
• The Purpose Driven Life and God's Answers to Life's Difficult Questions by Rick Warren
• S.H.A.P.E.: Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life by Erik Rees
• Breaking the Idols of Your Heart by Dan Allender
• Search for Significance by Robert McGee

Small Groups - Taste of Community "sampler" groups are starting soon. Or look for an on-going group to join at the Group Finder site.

One Body - Take a look at Gateway activities, lots of different ways to get involved at Gateway, along with a test to gauge your talents and spiritual gifts at the One Body Gateway website.

Way of Christ - spiritual growth resources at Way of Christ Next-Steps Website

Been there, done that. Now what?: Intimacy

Series: Been there, done that. Now what?
Intimacy by John Burke - September 30, 2007

In this message, John talked about making real and deep connections with other people: intimacy. Since John made such a clear point that bringing God into relationships really opens the door for intimacy, why not start with praying individually and then together if you are in a group, inviting God to be with you and that each of you will have the security of God’s love as you genuinely relate to each other in the group today.

John pointed out how our “aloneness” is the source of so many of our problems in this life. We don’t’ want to do life alone, but really making a genuine connection with others is pretty intimidating. So, as a starting note: don’t be worried about it right now. No one is going to ask you to bare your soul. You might be asked to stretch and share… but in this discussion, you can be as safe as you want to be.

1. Before you get into some of the direct applications of John’s message, spend some time just talking about your impressions of what “intimacy” means. What do you think an intimate relationship is like? What words come to mind? (5 minutes)

2. Bet most of your descriptions of intimacy sound pretty good… something most people would want more of in their lives. So why is it so rare in our world? What are the things that keep us from having intimacy in our relationships? (5 minutes)

3. John described part of intimacy as being “sincere” and told how the root of that word is “without wax”. Do you have (or have you had ) a relationship that was “without wax”, where you felt most free to not cover up your cracks – and maybe also being OK with the other person’s cracks as well? Think about that relationship for a minutes and then think about what about the relationship made it possible to be “sincere”. Spend some time sharing the types of things that make intimacy possible. (10 – 15 minutes)

4. There are different sorts of relationship patterns we tend to get into that keep us from being “real”. John describes three different patterns: Superiority… looking down at others; Inferiority…. always trying to prove yourself to others, or Hiding … withdrawing from personal relationships. I would bet that nearly everyone has at least one of these tendencies. Which is yours? What does it “cost you”? Can you think of one example of how the type of response you tend toward has negatively affected your relationships in general? Take time for people to share as they would like. (10 minutes)

5. John described three things that help build intimate relationships: risking yourself, trusting that even if someone else hurts you, you are safe in God’s love, and then getting (and being) the encouragement to take another step. If you are discussing this in a Gateway group, or with a spiritual running partner – you have already taken the first step in building the type of intimacy that God planned for people that follow Christ. So, try to take another step tonight. Think about one thing, big or small, that could be keeping you from risking a little bit more of yourself… and share that. Take time to listen to each other, ask questions, and respond honestly (but with grace – if needed) to each others’ concerns. Encourage when you can. (20 – 25 minutes).

End by first spending a little bit of time with personal reflection. Is there some thing you can trust about God that can help you risk yourself more in your group? If so, write that down and ask God to build your view of Him in that way. Then pray with each other that you will each trust God and each other more in your group. (5 minutes)

Bible verses from the message:

Again, I observed all the oppression that takes place under the sun… Then I observed that most people are motivated to success because they envy their neighbors… I observed yet another example of something meaningless under the sun. This is the case of a man who is all alone…who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, “Who am I working for…It is all so meaningless and depressing.
Ecclesiastes 4:1-7

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If they fall down, they can help each other up. But pity those who fall and have no one to help them up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us…And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
1 John 4:10-12, 16

“But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.”
1 John 4:18

Get more - go further:

Remember - each Sunday's message is available by5 PM on the day of the message. Past messages are also available for listneing and download. Just go to Gateway's Sunday Messages. Free CD's of the messages will be available after the services at Gateway the following Sunday.

Check out the following books and others that are relevant at Gateway's on-line Bookstore (and in the Gateway "Garage")

• Safest Place on Earth by Larry Crabb
• The Purpose Driven Life and God's Answers to Life's Difficult Questions by Rick Warren
• S.H.A.P.E.: Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life by Erik Rees
• Breaking the Idols of Your Heart by Dan Allender
• Search for Significance by Robert McGee

Small Groups - Taste of Community "sampler" groups are starting soon. Or look for an on-going group to join at the Group Finder site.

One Body - Take a look at Gateway activities, lots of different ways to get involved at Gateway, along with a test to gauge your talents and spiritual gifts at the One Body Gateway website.

Way of Christ - spiritual growth resources at Way of Christ Next-Steps Website

Been there, done that. Now what?: Pleasure

Series: Been there. Done that. Now what?
Pleasure by Ted Beasley - September 23, 2007

This week we continue to look at the meaning of life from the book of Ecclesiastes focusing on the pursuit of pleasure. It seems to be common to think of enjoying something pleasurable in one of two ways: as either something we should aim for or something we should feel guilty about. Which of those is God’s view? Neither one. Whew. As Ted told us – God wants us to enjoy this life. Let’s use the things we enjoy as the starting point for dicussion.

1. Think for a moment about all the things that give you pleasure. If you’re in a group, go around the group and list as many things as you can in a couple of minutes. If you are by yourself, just make the list on your own. I bet it’s a big list… or I sure hope it is. (Ted quoted John Eldridge saying Christianity is "an invitation to desire".) Now, stop and go back through the list and talk about which of those pleasures are gifts from God and which aren't. (10 minutes)

2. Ted talked about Solomon getting to the end of the book of Ecclesiastes (which is really the diary of his personal quest for understanding), and concluding that a life lived in search of pleasure was "meaningless". So what about this? What makes a pleasure “good” – a gift from God, and what makes it “meaningless”? Spend some time talking this through. If you have any examples of a pleasure that has been both of these things… either at different time in your life or for two different people in the group, explore that as a way to better understand the role of pleasure in God’s plan. (10 - 15 minutes)

3. In the message Ted reconciled the two different ways of thinking about pleasure by explaining that pleasures are good if they point us to God, as the source of their goodness. Let’s explore some of this on a personal basis. If you are in a group, pair off and spend some sharing something wonderful that has happened to you in your life. Can you identify one or two times or things that were/are incredibly special to you. Share those things with each other. Then pause moment and pray together. Each of you take time to thank God for what He made and what He gave you in whatever words feel most natural to you. (10 minutes)

4. One of the things that Ted urges us to do, is to not let God’s enjoyable gifts take inappropriate control of our life or our motivations. We need to be responding to the Giver, not the gifts. So, as you think about the list of pleasures your group generated, and you reflect about the things you enjoy, is there anything there that feels like it could be too important to you… something that makes you put that before other things that you know would be more in-line with God’s will, or even God Himself? If so, or if you are not really sure, try sorting it through out loud with your partner (if you feel comfortable sharing, of course). Then pray for each other for insight and or grace to make changes. (And if neither of you have anything to talk about in your life now, maybe you have had something like this in the past that you can talk about, and then thank God for the realignment of the role of that pleasure). (10 minutes)

5. Next, in the larger group, take some time to brainstorm with each other about different ways to make sure God’s gifts stay in the right “place” in our lives… or different ways to get them to the right place if they become too important to us. (10 minutes)

6. Conclude the time with some personal reflections. Is there something that you feel God wants you to reconsider about your relationship to something you enjoy? Also, think about the week ahead, are there pleasures in your life you can plan to “share” with God , inviting Him to be part of the enjoyment and thanking Him for putting that thing in your life as you enjoy it. Write down at least one thing that you will “enjoy” with God in the coming week – and a first step you will take if you think change is needed. (5 minutes)


Bible verses from the message:

I thought in my heart, "Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good." But that also proved to be meaningless. "Laughter," I said, "is foolish. And what does pleasure accomplish?" I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly—my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was worthwhile for men to do under heaven during the few days of their lives. I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired men and women singers, and a harem as well—the delights of the heart of man. I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.
Ecclesiastes 2:1-9

I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve…everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 2:10-11


He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.
1 Kings 11:3

The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made.
Psalm 145:15-17

I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.
John 10:10

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.
James 4:1-2

(God is telling his people to bring 1/10th of their crops or flocks to a predetermined spot to offer them as a gift to God.) But if that place is too distant and you . . . cannot carry your tithe . . . then exchange your tithe for silver, and take the silver with you and go to the place the LORD your God will choose. Use the silver to buy whatever you like: cattle, sheep, wine or other fermented drink, or anything you wish. Then you and your household shall eat there in the presence of the LORD your God and rejoice.
Deuteronomy 14:24-26

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.
Ecclesiastes 9:10

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12

Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.
John 7:38

Related Next-Step Resources:

Check out the following books and others that are relevant at Gateway's on-line Bookstore (and in the Gateway "Garage")

• The Purpose Driven Life and God's Answers to Life's Difficult Questions by Rick Warren
• S.H.A.P.E.: Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life by Erik Rees
• Breaking the Idols of Your Heart by Dan Allender
• Search for Significance by Robert McGee

Take a look at Gateway activities, lots of different ways to get involved at Gateway, along with a test to gauge your talents and spiritual gifts at the One Body Gateway website.

Check out spiritual growth resources at Gateway's Way of Christ Next-Steps Website

Prior Sunday message are now available by 5 PM on the day of the message (listen or download MP3at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive) . CD recordings of the messages will be available at Gateway the following Sunday.