Getting Past the Past: Abuse

Getting Past the Past
Abuse by Ted Beasley and Carrie Cothran-Williams

Abuse is an extremely sensitive topic . As Ted and Carrie explained in the message, shame is a common feeling among people who have been abused…even though it is not a justified response. With that in mind, start by confirming that this IS sensitive, that people may have strong personal responses, and pray that everyone participating in your discussions will feel God’s healing love and a safe zone to share only as they are comfortable. Also note there are various options for getting trained/professional help at the end of these notes.

1. Along with shame – one of the most common reactions to abuse is denial. So, let’s start there. Abuse is certainly not the only area where we can react with denial. Spend some time talking about denial in general. Can you identify any area in your own past – big or small, where you were in denial? Think about why you wanted to ignore/escape the problem and then use that as the basis for discussing what makes people go into denial. Come up with as many motivations as you can, trying to get a better understanding of what makes people “push down” parts of their lives or their histories. (10 minutes)

2. Now, what about abuse?: Think about why abuse, in particular, is something that is so very hard to deal with. Ted and Carrie talked about dealing with the “lies”: What are the lies that that victims of abuse tell themselves? What about those who abuse others? As in the question above, use your discussion to get a fuller picture of what makes abuse especially difficult to deal with. (5 - 10 minutes)

3. Next, try to get a picture of the “fallout” from abuse. In what ways does abuse impact peoples lives? What about the lives of those around them? Try to list the different ways that abuse has a ripple effect in a person’s life and in their relationships. (5 - 10 minutes)

4. In the message, we learned that part of the challenge of abuse is thinking that the future can be different. So it's worth taking some time to look at “success stories”. Ted talked about how God desires to take away the hurt and “sing over” us with rejoicing (see Zephaniah passage below). Was there ever something from your past (of any sort) that you did not want to deal with or maybe even look at, but later were able to face and get “healing” or resolution? Think about that for a minute and then share: What different things got you to look at that part of your story? Next, what things helped you to get past the issues/events once you looked at them? Have you heard God "singing" over that part of your story? (If you don’t have or don’t want to share your own story – maybe there is someone else’s lessons you can talk about – with careful confidentiality please!). (10 - 15 minutes)

5. Next, look at abuse from a different perspective….that of a friend or family member. What are the “challenges” to helping and/or supporting someone who has experienced abuse? What are some of “natural reactions” others might have? What are kinds of things would not help –or even hurt the situation? What things can “supporters” do that would likely be helpful? Try to develop two lists: “options to help” and “things to avoid”. (10 minutes)

6. End by spending some time for reflection. Ted started by talking about how Pharaoh told Moses “Tomorrow” when asked about when the plague of frogs would be removed. Ask yourself if you are in denial – over abuse (or something else) in your own life, or in someone else’s. Is there a step you clearly hear God prompting you to take – today – to help yourself or to help someone else. If so, write down your commitment to God and take a moment in prayer to ask Him to give you the grace/power/purpose to take that step. (5 minutes)


Bible verses from the message:

Pharaoh summoned Moses and Aaron and said, “Pray to the LORD to take the frogs away from me and my people, and I will let your people go to offer sacrifices to the LORD." Moses said to Pharaoh, "I leave to you the honor of setting the time for me to pray for you and your officials and your people that you and your houses may be rid of the frogs, except for those that remain in the Nile." "Tomorrow," Pharaoh said.
Exodus 8:8-10

The LORD has taken away your punishment, he has turned back your enemy. The LORD, the King of Israel, is with you; never again will you fear any harm. The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:15-17

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.
I Peter 5:8

This is what the LORD says: “Your wound is incurable, your injury beyond healing.”
“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,” declares the LORD, “because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.” This is what the LORD says: “I will restore the fortunes of Jacob's tents and have compassion on his dwellings; the city will be rebuilt on her ruins, and the palace will stand in its proper place. From them will come songs of thanksgiving and the sound of rejoicing.”
Jeremiah 30:12, 17-19

Get more - go further:

If you want particular support for your own abuse issues there are several options:

• Wings on a Dove – 3-week workshop for women who have experienced domestic violence; starts November 19th.
• Wounded Heart Book Study – 8-week study designed for women who have been sexually abused, starting January 14th.
• There is an On-going Support group for women who have been abused – 2nd and 4th Thursday of every month.
• For additional info on any of these programs, e-mail ComfortAndHope@gatewaychurch.com.
• If this series has struck a chord with you and you would like to become part of the solution by volunteering with any of the Support and Recovery ministries, please e-mail SupportAndRecovery@gatewaychurch.com.
  

Individual help: Biblically-based, professional counseling is available at Gateway. Counseling can be a great help if you are seeking healing, growth, understanding or encouragement. Contact Merry Fiske, MA, LPC if you have questions or to schedule an appointment at (512) 659-1256.

You can find a searchable index to find books on abuse at the Gateway Bookstore on-line or look at books at the "Garage".

Also, check out other resources for personal growth at the Way of Christ resource website.

Remember - each Sunday's message is available by 5 PM on the day of the message. Past messages are also available for listening and download. Just go to Gateway's Sunday Messages. Free CD's of the messages will be available after the services at Gateway the following Sunday.

Getting Past the Past: Divorce

Series: Getting Past the Past
Divorce by Ted Beasley, October 21, 2007


Continuing the series on Getting Past the Past, this message looks at something so many people experience and that has huge implications for their present and their future. So how does one start to get past a divorce – or help others we care about heal from one? That’s the destination of Ted’s message.

1. While the reasons for divorce may be complicated – God’s feelings about divorce are clear: He hates it – see the passage from Malachi below (but remember, as Ted said, He certainly does NOT hate divorced people). Let’s look at God’s feelings more: Why does God hate divorce? List as many things about divorce as you can that would make God hate it. (10 minutes)

2. Ted used the story of Zacchaeus (see below) as an analogy for how so many divorced people react to Jesus – and also one that contains Jesus' prescripton for healing. Take a look at the first step: “up a tree”. So often divorce people feel separated, embarrassed, ashamed, or at least, completely off their game. Since almost all of us know someone who has been divorced or have gone through that experience ourselves, as either children or adults, spend some time in the group talking about what it is like – but only talk about yourself if you feel completely comfortable. Does it feel like being up a tree? How or how not? (10 – 15 minutes)

3. Now consider the next step: Hide and seek. How do we respond to people going through divorce? Ted noted that Jesus moved toward Zacchaeus with love and with truth. What do each of those qualities mean in the context of dealing with someone going through a divorce? Try to describe some of the types of behavior/responses that would say “love” and those that would say “truth” to someone going through a divorce. Are there any typical types of responses that would definitely NOT be on either of the lists above? (10 minutes)

4. Last step… Crossing the Line: Zacchaeus decided he was completely tired of what his life had been like to that point. He decided to move toward Jesus – and not just to move, but to change his entire response to his past: He committed to being generous. In the context of divorce or other relationship breakdowns, forgiveness is probably the best example of “generosity”. This type of generosity is not natural. For deep hurts it takes something supernatural to go there – to get God’s love and forgiveness first, and then to get His grace to give it to others. Think about any relationship breeches you may have experienced – whether divorce or something else: Can you think of a way that forgiveness “turned darkness into light”? If so, talk about that with the others in your group: What led to forgiveness, and what has been the impact of the forgiveness for you’re and/or the others in the relationship? (10 – 15 minutes)

5. Close by spending some time thinking about the messages that struck you during the discussion. If you have been through a divorce, what stage are you in now and is there anything God seems to want to deal with you about? If you know someone who needs to get past the past of a divorce, is there a way God is prompting you to show either truth or love to that person? Whatever you are hearing from God, write it down and also write down a time this week you will engage with Him to ask about your “next steps” in healing or supporting healing for someone else. (5 minutes)


Bible verses from the message:

“I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith.
Malachi 2:16

Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way. When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. All the people saw this and began to mutter, "He has gone to be the guest of a sinner." But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, "Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount." Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost."
Luke 19:1 – 10

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Romans 12:15

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 2:2

You were taught to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:22-24

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths . . . Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4: 29, 31-32

Get more - go further:

At the Gateway Bookstore you can find books on divorce like Divorce Care: Hope, Help and Healing During and After your Divorce (by Steve Grissom) and Broken: Making Sence Out of Life After Your Parent's Divorce (by Tim Baker) - or search for other titles: on-line or in the "Garage".

Want support? Maybe Gateway's Support and Recovery programs could have the help you need. There are special groups on Divorce Care and Divorce Care for Kids.

Need to sort through personal healing or your marriage? Gateway supports biblically-based, professional counseling . Contact Merry Fiske at merry@gatewaychurch.com or call Merry at 659-1256.

Also, check out other resources for personal growth at the Way of Christ resource website.

Remember - each Sunday's message is available by 5 PM on the day of the message. Past messages are also available for listening and download. Just go to Gateway's Sunday Messages. Free CD's of the messages will be available after the services at Gateway the following Sunday.

Getting Past the Past: Grief and Loss

Getting Past the Past
Grief and Loss by John Burke, October 14, 2007

As we begin a new series on Getting Past the Past, this Sunday John focused on Grief and Loss. His theme was that God’s plan for dealing with grief is different from what so many people’s experience – and as a result, there is a lot of lingering pain from the losses we have experienced in our lives. As John told us, “if you don’t deal with painful loss in healthy ways, it will forever deal with you.” Naturally, this means that there could be some deep wounds among you and this could be a difficult topic for some people to discuss. So, please, before you start any discussion, pray that the Lord will be with you as a protector and comforter during your discussions. As always – no one should share beyond what they feel comfortable doing.

1. John noted that one of the standard ways “the world” approaches grief is play or want others to play “The Quiet Game” – don’t talk about it. What other kinds of messages do people get/give about grief? (5 - 10 minutes)

2. John’s messages stressed that there are helpful and hurtful ways of dealing with loss. Let’s take a look at these. Try to think of two different people you know who have faced loss, but come through it in different ways – one with significant healing and the other with little or no resolution. Think for a minute about what made the two people/experiences different from each other. Then in the group, explore the two different types of experiences. (There will be questions about your own experiences later, so for now, try to think of other people ). First, from what you know or think, what was the “healing” experiences like: What was the person like who came through a loss in a positive way (or at least not with significant emotional scars). What types of things did they do or not do? Next, what about the person who was up-ended by their loss: What was their experience like? What are/were they like? What did they do or not do? Once you have discussed each type of experience, try to summarize any common features for each type of loss reactions. (Note – you may need to spend a bit of time describing a circumstance, but do be a brief as you can and please don’t identify or violate any person’s confidentiality – try to keep the descriptions general. Also, remember that there are many types of losses that we can experience.) (15 - 20 minutes)

3. John outlined five guidelines for dealing with loss:

• Grieve the loss: (“You can’t heal if you don’t feel.” “God’s path past the pain is to grieve it.”)
• Review the loss: (Stay with it… don’t just run for something to make the hurt go away.)
• Grieve in community: (Don’t go undercover, allow others in and be there for someone else.)
• Lean into God’s healing: (Be honest with God about your loss and pain, and be determined to stay close to Him because He cares about your loss.)
• Hope in God: (Trust that there is new life and healing in Him).
  

Go back through the list above and see whether you can see any parallels between this list and the discussion in Question 2. Note the similarities and differences. (10 minutes)

4. If you are in a larger group, break pairs or triads for this question. Most people have had some sort of loss in their lives – whether one of several, big or small. Focus on a loss that you have had, how you dealt with it, who was involved. Are there any ways that your experiences fits either of the lists the group identified in the first questions? Finally, do you think/feel that the loss is healed? Share any thoughts on insights with the others. If you feel like there is still more healing needed – think through John’s list and write down any part of the solution to grief that you think might be missing in your own experience. (15 - 20 minutes)

5. In the group as a whole, spend some time discussing some practical ways to live through John's guidelines for dealing with loss. Based on all the discussions and other knowledge – what steps can someone take to either get positive relief form their own loss, or support someone else in getting healing? (10 minutes)

6. Close by having some time for personal reflection. Is there a pain from loss in your life that God has spoken to you about today? If not you, is there someone else whose grief the Lord has put on your heart? In either case, ask God whether He is leading you to take some action? If so, write down your own “next step” for this week. If need/want support in your steps, be sure to look at the Next Step resources below. If you can, ask you group for prayer and any other support you need to help others or step toward healing yourself. (5 minutes)


Bible verses from the message:

Grieve not as those who have no hope.
I Thessalonians 4:13

Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning.
Ecclesiastes 7:3-4

Jesus wept.
John 11:35

The Israelites grieved for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days, until the time of weeping and mourning was over.
Deuteronomy 34

Mourn with those who mourn.
Romans 12:15

“I have called you by name, you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.”
Isaiah 43:1-2

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.
Psalm 56:8

God is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.
Psalm 68:5

“Trust in God, trust also in me…"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world ."
John 14:1, 16:33

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”
Revelation 21:4

Get more - go further:

John's suggestions from Delores Keening's Helping People Through Grief book:

• Acknowledge the loss
• Give permission to grieve
• Encourage the person to talk
• Offer practical help
• Follow up monthly for the first year

Other books are available at the Gateway Bookstore on-line or in the Garage. Consider

• A Grief Observed by C. S. Lewis
• A Grace Disguised, How the Soul Grows through Loss by Jerry Sittser

A Grief Support Group is begining for those who have experienced the death o f a loved one. The group will meet on Monday's 6:30 - 8pm for 8 weeks starting October 29th. E-mail GriefSupport@gatewaychurch.com for info.

Profesisonal Counseling: Biblically-based, professional counseling is available for those seeking healing. For inormation contact Merry Fiske at merry@gatewaychurch.com.

Remember - each Sunday's message is available by 5 PM on the day of the message. Past messages are also available for listening and download. Just go to Gateway's Sunday Messages. Free CD's of the messages will be available after the services at Gateway the following Sunday.

Been there, done that. Now what?: Peace

Series: Been There, Done That
Peace by Ted Beasley - October 7, 2007

Today Ted wrapped up this series on Ecclesiastes with one of the bottom lines in our search for meaning in life: Peace.

1. So what about peace? Start by trying to get an illustrated picture of what peace is like. Come up with some words that describe what peace “feels” like. Can you think of a time you really felt at peace? If so, when was that (and if relevant, how did you get there?). (10 minutes)

2. Now, try a question to set up a key concept in the message: What percentage of your life is genuinely filled with peace? (and before you answer… remember the self-serving bias that Ted talked about… the tendency we all have to categorize ourselves in more favorable categories – i.e., the survey of teen-agers where 0% categorized themselves as “below average” in interpersonal skills. Hmmmmmm). Spend some time talking about why peace is often the exception in our lives. (5 - 10 minutes)

3. Ted set up a framework (roughly based on an Harvard Business Review article by Bruch and Ghoshal's called "Beware the Busy Manager") that both helps us understand why we might be missing out on God’s promise of peace and to help us get it. The framework looks at both a person’s level of energy and their level of focus on the right things to spend that energy doing. According to the framework there are four basic types of people:

• Distracted: High energy but low focus… going from one thing to another (with too many balls in the air to have clear direction – or peace)
• Procrastinator: Low energy and low focus… would rather not do – anything (but with no sense of accomplishment or peace)
• Disengaged: High focus but low energy…knows the right way to go but has run out of steam to get ther (and lost the sense of peace and purpose that moving forward provides)
• Purposeful: Got it… moving toward God and able to chose between the things that move them forward and the things that just move them anywhere.
  
  Because this is all a bit conceptual, start by taking some time to just talk about each of these orientations in the group. Try to nail down what they are like in a non-“spiritual” context. Try to personally related to each one. Maybe there are different aspects of your life where you have different orientations (i.e., procrastinator at work but very purposeful about friendships). Discuss this until you feel you have a good idea of what these approaches to life are like. (10 minutes)

4. Next do some spiritual application. If you are in a group, pair off and talk about your spiritual orientation. Is there one that best fits your spiritual history? Has that always been your orientation? If not, what stages have you gone through? Which orientation is the best fit for your spiritual walk right now? Take time for each person to talk about their roadmap. If either of you feel that you’d like to move further into peace, brainstorm with each other about different things you could do to move toward being more “purposeful”. Remember to keep in mind each person’s orientation. (15 minutes)

5. If you're in a group, take 5 – 10 minutes to share any insights that came out of the one-on-one discussions.

6. End with some personal reflection. Did the discussion give you any idea of a small step you want to take toward God and His peace? Is there something you can start this week? If so, write down your step(s) and then pray that God will help you move toward the peace you can have when you’re on the road toward Him and taking the steps to get closer. (2-3 minutes)


Bible verses from the lesson:

This is the evil in everything that happens under the sun: The same destiny overtakes all. The hearts of men, moreover, are full of evil and there is madness in their hearts while they live.
Ecclesiastes 9:3

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them."
Ecclesiastes 12:1

Find peace before the keepers of the house tremble, and the strong men stoop, when the grinders cease because they are few, and those looking through the windows grow dim.
Ecclesiastes 12:3

when the doors to the street are closed and the sound of grinding fades; when people rise up at the sound of birds, but all their songs grow faint.
Ecclesiastes 12:4

when the almond tree blossoms and the grasshopper drags itself along and desire no longer is stirred.
Ecclesiastes 12:5

The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.
Isaiah 32: 17-18

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
Matthew 7 :13-14

Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let your hands not be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.
Ecclesiastes 11:6

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. . . So then, if you know the good you ought to do and don't do it, you sin.
James 4:14,17

I have seen their ways, but I will heal them; I will guide them and restore comfort to them, creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel. Peace, peace, to those far and near," says the LORD. "And I will heal them."
Isaiah 57:18-19

Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body. Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the [duty] of every human being.
Ecclesiastes 12: 12-13

Jesus tells a crowd, It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest seed you plant in the ground. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds of the air can perch in its shade.
Mark 4: 31-32

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.
Acts 3:19

Get more - go further:

Remember - each Sunday's message is available by5 PM on the day of the message. Past messages are also available for listneing and download. Just go to Gateway's Sunday Messages. Free CD's of the messages will be available after the services at Gateway the following Sunday.

Check out the following books and others that are relevant at Gateway's on-line Bookstore (and in the Gateway "Garage")

• Safest Place on Earth by Larry Crabb
• The Purpose Driven Life and God's Answers to Life's Difficult Questions by Rick Warren
• S.H.A.P.E.: Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life by Erik Rees
• Breaking the Idols of Your Heart by Dan Allender
• Search for Significance by Robert McGee

Small Groups - Taste of Community "sampler" groups are starting soon. Or look for an on-going group to join at the Group Finder site.

One Body - Take a look at Gateway activities, lots of different ways to get involved at Gateway, along with a test to gauge your talents and spiritual gifts at the One Body Gateway website.

Way of Christ - spiritual growth resources at Way of Christ Next-Steps Website

Been there, done that. Now what?: Intimacy

Series: Been there, done that. Now what?
Intimacy by John Burke - September 30, 2007

In this message, John talked about making real and deep connections with other people: intimacy. Since John made such a clear point that bringing God into relationships really opens the door for intimacy, why not start with praying individually and then together if you are in a group, inviting God to be with you and that each of you will have the security of God’s love as you genuinely relate to each other in the group today.

John pointed out how our “aloneness” is the source of so many of our problems in this life. We don’t’ want to do life alone, but really making a genuine connection with others is pretty intimidating. So, as a starting note: don’t be worried about it right now. No one is going to ask you to bare your soul. You might be asked to stretch and share… but in this discussion, you can be as safe as you want to be.

1. Before you get into some of the direct applications of John’s message, spend some time just talking about your impressions of what “intimacy” means. What do you think an intimate relationship is like? What words come to mind? (5 minutes)

2. Bet most of your descriptions of intimacy sound pretty good… something most people would want more of in their lives. So why is it so rare in our world? What are the things that keep us from having intimacy in our relationships? (5 minutes)

3. John described part of intimacy as being “sincere” and told how the root of that word is “without wax”. Do you have (or have you had ) a relationship that was “without wax”, where you felt most free to not cover up your cracks – and maybe also being OK with the other person’s cracks as well? Think about that relationship for a minutes and then think about what about the relationship made it possible to be “sincere”. Spend some time sharing the types of things that make intimacy possible. (10 – 15 minutes)

4. There are different sorts of relationship patterns we tend to get into that keep us from being “real”. John describes three different patterns: Superiority… looking down at others; Inferiority…. always trying to prove yourself to others, or Hiding … withdrawing from personal relationships. I would bet that nearly everyone has at least one of these tendencies. Which is yours? What does it “cost you”? Can you think of one example of how the type of response you tend toward has negatively affected your relationships in general? Take time for people to share as they would like. (10 minutes)

5. John described three things that help build intimate relationships: risking yourself, trusting that even if someone else hurts you, you are safe in God’s love, and then getting (and being) the encouragement to take another step. If you are discussing this in a Gateway group, or with a spiritual running partner – you have already taken the first step in building the type of intimacy that God planned for people that follow Christ. So, try to take another step tonight. Think about one thing, big or small, that could be keeping you from risking a little bit more of yourself… and share that. Take time to listen to each other, ask questions, and respond honestly (but with grace – if needed) to each others’ concerns. Encourage when you can. (20 – 25 minutes).

End by first spending a little bit of time with personal reflection. Is there some thing you can trust about God that can help you risk yourself more in your group? If so, write that down and ask God to build your view of Him in that way. Then pray with each other that you will each trust God and each other more in your group. (5 minutes)

Bible verses from the message:

Again, I observed all the oppression that takes place under the sun… Then I observed that most people are motivated to success because they envy their neighbors… I observed yet another example of something meaningless under the sun. This is the case of a man who is all alone…who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, “Who am I working for…It is all so meaningless and depressing.
Ecclesiastes 4:1-7

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If they fall down, they can help each other up. But pity those who fall and have no one to help them up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us…And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
1 John 4:10-12, 16

“But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.”
1 John 4:18

Get more - go further:

Remember - each Sunday's message is available by5 PM on the day of the message. Past messages are also available for listneing and download. Just go to Gateway's Sunday Messages. Free CD's of the messages will be available after the services at Gateway the following Sunday.

Check out the following books and others that are relevant at Gateway's on-line Bookstore (and in the Gateway "Garage")

• Safest Place on Earth by Larry Crabb
• The Purpose Driven Life and God's Answers to Life's Difficult Questions by Rick Warren
• S.H.A.P.E.: Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life by Erik Rees
• Breaking the Idols of Your Heart by Dan Allender
• Search for Significance by Robert McGee

Small Groups - Taste of Community "sampler" groups are starting soon. Or look for an on-going group to join at the Group Finder site.

One Body - Take a look at Gateway activities, lots of different ways to get involved at Gateway, along with a test to gauge your talents and spiritual gifts at the One Body Gateway website.

Way of Christ - spiritual growth resources at Way of Christ Next-Steps Website