Been there, done that. Now what?: Pleasure

Series: Been there. Done that. Now what?
Pleasure by Ted Beasley - September 23, 2007

This week we continue to look at the meaning of life from the book of Ecclesiastes focusing on the pursuit of pleasure. It seems to be common to think of enjoying something pleasurable in one of two ways: as either something we should aim for or something we should feel guilty about. Which of those is God’s view? Neither one. Whew. As Ted told us – God wants us to enjoy this life. Let’s use the things we enjoy as the starting point for dicussion.

1. Think for a moment about all the things that give you pleasure. If you’re in a group, go around the group and list as many things as you can in a couple of minutes. If you are by yourself, just make the list on your own. I bet it’s a big list… or I sure hope it is. (Ted quoted John Eldridge saying Christianity is "an invitation to desire".) Now, stop and go back through the list and talk about which of those pleasures are gifts from God and which aren't. (10 minutes)

2. Ted talked about Solomon getting to the end of the book of Ecclesiastes (which is really the diary of his personal quest for understanding), and concluding that a life lived in search of pleasure was "meaningless". So what about this? What makes a pleasure “good” – a gift from God, and what makes it “meaningless”? Spend some time talking this through. If you have any examples of a pleasure that has been both of these things… either at different time in your life or for two different people in the group, explore that as a way to better understand the role of pleasure in God’s plan. (10 - 15 minutes)

3. In the message Ted reconciled the two different ways of thinking about pleasure by explaining that pleasures are good if they point us to God, as the source of their goodness. Let’s explore some of this on a personal basis. If you are in a group, pair off and spend some sharing something wonderful that has happened to you in your life. Can you identify one or two times or things that were/are incredibly special to you. Share those things with each other. Then pause moment and pray together. Each of you take time to thank God for what He made and what He gave you in whatever words feel most natural to you. (10 minutes)

4. One of the things that Ted urges us to do, is to not let God’s enjoyable gifts take inappropriate control of our life or our motivations. We need to be responding to the Giver, not the gifts. So, as you think about the list of pleasures your group generated, and you reflect about the things you enjoy, is there anything there that feels like it could be too important to you… something that makes you put that before other things that you know would be more in-line with God’s will, or even God Himself? If so, or if you are not really sure, try sorting it through out loud with your partner (if you feel comfortable sharing, of course). Then pray for each other for insight and or grace to make changes. (And if neither of you have anything to talk about in your life now, maybe you have had something like this in the past that you can talk about, and then thank God for the realignment of the role of that pleasure). (10 minutes)

5. Next, in the larger group, take some time to brainstorm with each other about different ways to make sure God’s gifts stay in the right “place” in our lives… or different ways to get them to the right place if they become too important to us. (10 minutes)

6. Conclude the time with some personal reflections. Is there something that you feel God wants you to reconsider about your relationship to something you enjoy? Also, think about the week ahead, are there pleasures in your life you can plan to “share” with God , inviting Him to be part of the enjoyment and thanking Him for putting that thing in your life as you enjoy it. Write down at least one thing that you will “enjoy” with God in the coming week – and a first step you will take if you think change is needed. (5 minutes)


Bible verses from the message:

I thought in my heart, "Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good." But that also proved to be meaningless. "Laughter," I said, "is foolish. And what does pleasure accomplish?" I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly—my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was worthwhile for men to do under heaven during the few days of their lives. I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired men and women singers, and a harem as well—the delights of the heart of man. I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.
Ecclesiastes 2:1-9

I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve…everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 2:10-11


He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.
1 Kings 11:3

The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made.
Psalm 145:15-17

I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.
John 10:10

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.
James 4:1-2

(God is telling his people to bring 1/10th of their crops or flocks to a predetermined spot to offer them as a gift to God.) But if that place is too distant and you . . . cannot carry your tithe . . . then exchange your tithe for silver, and take the silver with you and go to the place the LORD your God will choose. Use the silver to buy whatever you like: cattle, sheep, wine or other fermented drink, or anything you wish. Then you and your household shall eat there in the presence of the LORD your God and rejoice.
Deuteronomy 14:24-26

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.
Ecclesiastes 9:10

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12

Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.
John 7:38

Related Next-Step Resources:

Check out the following books and others that are relevant at Gateway's on-line Bookstore (and in the Gateway "Garage")

• The Purpose Driven Life and God's Answers to Life's Difficult Questions by Rick Warren
• S.H.A.P.E.: Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life by Erik Rees
• Breaking the Idols of Your Heart by Dan Allender
• Search for Significance by Robert McGee

Take a look at Gateway activities, lots of different ways to get involved at Gateway, along with a test to gauge your talents and spiritual gifts at the One Body Gateway website.

Check out spiritual growth resources at Gateway's Way of Christ Next-Steps Website

Prior Sunday message are now available by 5 PM on the day of the message (listen or download MP3at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive) . CD recordings of the messages will be available at Gateway the following Sunday.

Been there, done that. Now what?: Purpose

Series: Been there, Done that. Now what?
Purpose by John Burke, September 16, 2007

Finally a message on a topic that is not too important. What a relief. This one was just on the meaning of life. OK – so it’s a little important. In truth – it’s a huge topic and it was a big message - one worth pushing into deeper. Turns out that the person the Bible says was the “wisest man that ever lived” had some thoughts on the subject (if you’re thinking it’s John, sorry... in this case it was Solomon). Probably worth hearing what he had to say on the topic too....

1. John started with a powerful question: “Where is your life going?” Maybe a bit strong for a warm-up question for a group, but we can trade on it to generate some thoughts/discussion. Spend a few minutes talking about the following questions: (10 - 15 minutes)

• Do you think most people could answer that question if asked?
• For those that could – what kinds of answers would you expect to hear?
• For those who couldn’t, why do you think it could be a hard question to know the answer to?

If you can, keep a casual list of responses to refer back to at the end.

2. Now, continuing on the theme of the questions above, it seems that whether we have a clear idea of where we’re going or not, most of act like we are going somewhere fast, and have some ideas about the routes we should travel. (John called this the “dash” that represents our life between the day we’re born and the day we die.) What are some of the most common routes people take to try to fill their dash with meaning and happiness? (5-10 minutes)

3. Solomon launched a personal quest to understand the meaning of life and happiness and then shared his travel journal with us in the book of Ecclesiastes. John talked about Solomon’s journeys into knowledge, achievement, pleasure, wealth, and fame. What did Solomon conclude about the different paths he traveled?: “It’s all meaningless.” (see Bible verses below). WHEW! Pretty heavy. We’ll come back to this later.

John told us about a train set he had when he was a kid. So, what about you? Think for a minutes: Was there something you really thought would make you happy when you were young – but only discovered that, once you had it, the “buzz” only lasted for awhile? A Barbie doll? Cabbage Patch Kid? Red Ryder B-B gun (Ralphie?) Whatever. What was your happy pill? My bet is that there was nothing inherently wrong with those things… so, why didn’t the happy last? Discuss this some… even if the answer seems obvious at first. Are there any general lessons we can draw about why we don’t get lasting happiness out of so many of the things we THINK will make us happy – even from this simplistic example? (10 minutes)

4. Going back to Solomon now: Was he right? Is it all meaningless? If so, why? If not, what could he have meant? (10 - 15 minutes)

5. Because this question is so central to us, it’s really important to take some time to ask real questions about our own real dash – the one we’re living right now. Think about the question at the beginning: “Where is your life going?” Where do you want it to go? Are you trying any of Solomon’s methods to get there? Will it work? These are heavy questions – certainly not ones that are easy to answer. But take 2-3 minutes to write down your first thoughts. And if you think God is telling you there is more to think about later – write down when you’ll do it. Make it a commitment to God to come back and have that conversation - and be sure to look at the Bible verses below to see what Solomon's answer was.

If anyone wants to ask the group for prayer on anything related to these questions, be sure to take some time at the end to pray for each other.

Bible verses from the message:

I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven.
Ecclesiastes 1:13

"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."
Ecclesiastes 1:2

“I thought to myself, ‘Look, I have grown and increased in wisdom more than anyone…[but] with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.’”
Ecclesiastes 1:16, 18

“I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees…”
Ecclesiastes 2:4-6

I even found great pleasure in hard work, a reward for all my labors. 11 But as I looked at everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, it was all so meaningless—like chasing the wind. There was nothing really worthwhile anywhere.
Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

I collected great sums of silver and gold, the treasure of many kings and provinces. I hired wonderful singers, both men and women, and had many beautiful concubines. I had everything a man could desire! So I became greater than all who had lived in Jerusalem before me, and my wisdom never failed me. Anything I wanted, I would take. I denied myself no pleasure.
Ecclesiastes 2:8-10

Those who love money never have enough; those who love wealth are never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.
Ecclesiastes 5:10

I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart...God does it so people will revere him.
Ecclesiastes 3:10-11, 14

Remember your Maker while you are young, before the days of trouble come and the years when you will say, "I have no joy in them,"… Remember Him before the silver rope of life is broken and…the dust will return to the earth as it was. And the spirit will return to God Who gave it… The last word, after all has been heard, is: Honor God and obey His Laws. This is all that every person must do.
Ecclesiastes 12:1,7,13

I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever.
Ecclesiastes 3:12-14

“But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.”
Deuteronomy 4:29

Related Next-Step Resources:

Check out the following books and others that are relevant at Gateway's on-line Bookstore (and in the Gateway "Garage")

• The Purpose Driven Life and God's Answers to Life's Difficult Questions by Rick Warren
• S.H.A.P.E.: Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life by Erik Rees
• Breaking the Idols of Your Heart by Dan Allender
• Search for Significance by Robert McGee

Take a look at Gateway activities, lots of different ways to get involved at Gateway, along with a test to gauge your talents and spiritual gifts at the One Body Gateway website.

Check out spiritual growth resources at Gateway's Way of Christ Next-Steps Website

Prior Sunday message is usual available by the Tuesday following the message (audio available at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive)

Courageous Living: Parenting

Series: Courageous Living
Parenting by John Burke, September 9, 2007

It doesn’t matter whether you are a parent or not. This message applies to you. One way or another – we’ve all HAD parents – or at least parent substitutes, and usually the imprint they have had on our lives has a big impact on the way we treat (or will treat) our own children… or an impact on other people that we direct, coach and “train” in other ways (work, sports, church, hobbies, etc.). It’s worth taking a look at what courageous parenting looks like and what we can learn from our own parenting experiences.

(If you are discussing this in a larger group – there will be some thinking, note taking and then some sharing in pairs, as well as the group overall. So be sure you have a paper and pen and select a discussion partner.)

1. John started out by noting how hard it is to be a parent today. He said that parenting is, in many ways, a spiritual battle. An interesting first step could be to get a handle on how and why parenting is such challenge… and why it takes courage. Take about 10 minutes to list some of the reasons why it is hard to be a good parent.

2. In the message John outlined three key aspects parenting:

• Blessings (affirming the real and good parts of a child’s character)
• Discipline (training/reinforcing good behavior and discouraging unacceptable behavior)
• Protection (taking care of and shielding from harm – either immediate or eventual).

Let’s take a look at the person that is/wants ot be our ultimate parent – God himself: Go around the group, and give an example of how you see, or have experienced God in one of those ways. This can be “conceptual” (i.e., He provides for our physical needs) or detailed and personal (for example, a time when you experienced very specific protection from Him). (10 minutes)

3. Now, what about our parents here on earth? In the message, John urged us to really think through our own parents (or the persons that played a parent role for us). Naturally you can’t do this thoroughly in a group, but try to begin the process now. First, think about the three key areas of parenting. Then, start with “Blessings” and think about a way, or an example of how, your parent(s) affirmed/encouraged who you are … or if not your parent – someone else. Write that down. NOW – see whether you can think of a an example of how you have parented someone else in a very similar way (either your own children – or in some other role). Write that down too. Now pair off and share your examples with each other.

Now go through the same process for Discipline and Protection.
Take 7 – 10 minutes for each area of parenting.

4. Next in the group, share some of your insights from the paired discussions. Try to focus on two questions: (10 minutes)

• Do people tend to be parents in the same way they were parented? Note examples.
• When people DON’T parent in the same way… why not? What makes things different for them?
  

5. As usual, let’s close with personal reflection. Just spend a few minutes thinking about whether you have noticed anything that you want to think through more. Is there some aspect of your parenting (whether you are an actual parent or not) that you want to change? If so, write that down. But don’t stop there… think of ONE way you can demonstrate that change this week and write it down. If you think you need to do a more extended “inventory” of your own parental experiences as John suggested, write down when you can make an appointment with yourself to go deeper. (Also, check out the Parenting workshop that Kathy Burke will be doing on October 14th - see below). Close by looking at the prayer from Ephesians 3:14 - 19 below. Pray that prayer for your child or someone else you can support and ask God to help you make that real. (3 – 5 minutes).


Bible verses from message:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against…the spiritual forces of evil.
Ephesians 6:12.

I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Ephesians 3:14-19

Encourage one another daily…so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13

Do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6

“You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
John 8:31-32

Related Next-Step Resources:

• Gateway U Parenting Workshop with Kathy Burke on October 14th
• Search for books on Parenting at the Gateway Bookstore.
• Take a look at lots of different ways to get involved at Gateway along with a test gauge your talents and spiritual gifts at Gateway activities at the One Body Gateway website.
• Check out spiritual growth resources at Gateway's Way of Christ Next-Steps Website)
• Prior Sunday message is usual available by the Tuesday following the message (audio available at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive)
  
  

Courageous Living: Integrity in the Workplace

Series: Courageous Living
Integrity in the Workplace - by John Burke, September 2, 2007

In this message for Labor Day weekend, John talked about integrity in our work lives. But work is a major part of our lives all the time. John asked some soul-searching questions about the way we approach our work and how we treat others when we are there. If you are answering these in a group – you can relax… we won’t ask you to clean out your mental work closet in public (unless you choose to), but I do hope you will very seriously consider some of the questions at the end on your own – and we’ll leave a little time at the end for you to start that process today.

During his message, John laid out a few major “messages” (beliefs) we often hear at work, but that are off-base in terms of God’s work rules:

• “It’s not personal… it’s just business”
• “What’s in it for me?”
• “Did you hear…. (about some co-worker)?”
• “The check’s in the mail”

John used Enron as the example of some REALLY terrible work values. Let’s see what you think about some different business situations. Go through each of the short business scenarios below and for each, talk about four things:

1. What sort of “beliefs” are guiding the person making the choices? (any of the ones from John’s message... or others?) Are these types of beliefs common?
2. Who gets hurt here?
3. Would anything be different if the person making a choicethought of God as their ultimate boss? How?
4. What sort of courage/beliefs would be necessary to make a “God approved” choice?

Take about 10 minutes for each problem. If time permits, see whether anyone in the group can describe their own work situation where a courageous decision was/is needed?

A. Two co-workers had been talking over some changes in operations that would improve customer service. While one is on vacation, the other gets into a conversation with the boss and mentions some of their ideas. He/she just neglects to mention the “missing” person’s involvement in the plan. The boss gives the go-ahead for the changes… and they are all done by the time the other worker returns.

B. Imagine someone in a sales position. One of his/her long-term customers - a small business owner - has been struggling because of some family health issues that have reduced their work-time. The business owner had placed a large order with the salesperson but asks them to postpone delivery for a quarter to help them out with their cash-flow. Problem is, this will keep the salesperson from making a bonus. The business owner is held to the contract.

C. A product-design engineer has seen the test results. The new product version is a lot better than the previous product in some respects, but is not going to meet all the product requirements listed in the company’s brochure or the quality that customers will assume the product has, based on the previous version of the product. No one will get killed over this – the product will just wear out a little sooner than customers expect. No mention is made of the new test results.

D. In a certain company, a lot of sales are made in “teams” – with different marketing and technical people involved. After each major sale, the team supervisor asks each team member to evaluate each other’s contribution, and then the sales commission for each person is adjusted based on the results. A good way for someone to increase their own commission is to downgrade the other team members’ contributions.

End up the discussion today with 3 – 5 minutes of personal reflection. First, ask yourself whether any of the common, but harmful beliefs about work are common for YOU? Next, ask whether there you feel God prompting you to think about any work situations in particular in a new way. If so, write down what you want to remember to help you make courageous choice and then take a minute or two (now or later) to try to find a bible verse that will help you reinforce that belief. Write down the verse, put it somewhere where you can see/find it – and the ask God to remind you to use it when you need it.

Bible verses from the message:

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if people claim to have faith but have no deeds? Can such faith save them…Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder…As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.
James 2:14, 18-19, 26

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere…God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.
James 3:13-17, 4:6

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.
Colossians 3:23-24

Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another.
James 4:11

My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?
James 2:1

The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.
James 5:4-5

Brothers and sisters, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple "Yes" or "No."
James 5:12

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.
Romans 13:1-2

Related Next-Step Resources:

• Take a look at lots of different ways to get involved at Gateway along with a test gauge your talents and spiritual gifts at Gateway activities at the One Body Gateway website.
• Check out spiritual growth resources at Gateway's Way of Christ Next-Steps Website)
• Prior Sunday message is usual available by the Tuesday following the message (audio available at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive)