ID: You Complete Me

Series: ID
Message Title: You Complete Me
Sunday's Date: March 25, 2007 - Ted Beasley
The message today zeroed in on how our real ID is all about relationship. No accident because, as Ted says, that’s why we were created. The only hitch is, we keep trying to get that connection that “completes us” in something/someone other than God.

1. Ted took us back to those school dances. Can you relate? Ever stood around thinking “pick me, pick me”? If not at a school dance, was there some other event (a club/organization, a sports team, a work group) where you felt the same way? Take a few minutes in your group to talk about the experience and what it felt like wanting to be picked. As you put yourself in the that situation mentally, do you think you were being “authentic” when you related to the other people involved, or were you putting forward your all your best parts – real maybe, but not the whole you? Just reflect on that for a minute or two and let anyone share who has an insight. (10 minutes)

2. Now, a reality check: Ted talked about how we might philosophically accept that God loves us with an unfailing love, but we have trouble believing it in the way we live our lives. Try to fill in the blank that Ted talked about: “Just in case God doesn’t come through for me, I’m counting on ___________ as a back-up.” (i.e., my children, my marriage, my job, my hobbies, my parents…). Now, to borrow a bit from Dr. Phil… “How’s that working for you?” Think about what life feels like when you are trying to fill that blank with something other than God. Write down any words that capture what life feels like when you are using that other thing as an insurance policy on fulfillment. Now, in the group, try to compile a list of the things we use fill in the blank – and a list of the words that describe the pursuit of those things. (10 minutes)

3. Next, let’s focus on the best of relationships. As Ted said – it is really hard to understand the Trinity – but maybe we can get a glimpse, if we think about our own best relationship experiences. We’ve all probably had moments when we were in a relationship “groove” - where it felt like there was a “flow” between us and another person or people. Maybe it was during a focused group activity – music, sports, or a school/work project – or maybe just in one of those special one-on-one moments. Try to identify a time when you were really connected with other(s). What did that feel like? Pair up in your groups for 10 minutes and – share your experience and then the two of you write down as many words as you can that capture the experience. Take some time to share your word list in your group. (15 minutes)

4. Now, lets try to pull all these thoughts together: the wanting to be picked, the looking for something/someone to complete us, the making genuine connection, and how we respond in those situations. We have a lot of word lists at this point: take a look at them all and see whether you can draw any conclusions about what feels “real”: real about being yourself and real about experiencing the best of life. What kinds of relationships make you feel most real? What kinds make you feel most constricted? Talk about any insights you have on this. (10 minutes)

5. Last question – and it’s a big one: Do you REALLY believe that God loves you with an impossible, longing, love – that He’d give anything to dance with you? If not (most of us fall in that category), can you think of a time, big or small, when you were VERY aware of His love for you? Did it feel like (to use Ted’s words…) God was coming after you – pursuing you? If you’ve had that kind of experience, then take some time to talk about it with the others? Also, note whether the experience caused you to change anything in your life. (10 minutes)

To wrap-up – take 5 minutes and just think about your “insurance policy’: what you rely on in case “God” doesn’t work out. How does that goal stack up with the times of knowing God’s love? If you feel like you’d like to put more effort into dancing with God, tell Him – right now. Listen and see what He tells you about your relationship – and write down any insight or next steps you get from this.


“What a person desires is unfailing love.”
Proverbs 19:22

“Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?”
Proverbs 20:6:

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
John 1:1

“I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does.”
John 5:19-20

“ Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory."”
Isaiah 6: 2-3

“Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.”
Ephesians 1:3-6

“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:6-7

“Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.”
Revelation 19:7


Other Bible passages/verses related to the message:
Jeremiah 2, Ezekiel 8, Matthew 9:35f, Psalm 27.

Related Next-Step Resources:

• Want to see who you really are in Christ? Check out http://www.ficm.org/whoami.htm
• Books on the topic:
• To Be Told - Know Your Story Shape Your Future by Dan Allender
• Boundaries: When to Say Yes and When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud
• Search for Significance by Robert McGee
• (all available at Gateway's Bookstore)
• Sunday messages available at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive (Sunday messages usually available by the following Tuesday)
• Don't forget to work on/finish the ID Timeline (PDF format) from the first message in this series

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ID: Look at Me!

Series: ID
Look at Me! by Ted Beasley- March 18, 2007

How much of our sense of “self” – our ID, is based on how we look? Most of us KNOW that beauty is only skin deep, but it sure is hard to break that link between how we look and how we feel about ourselves – and then to get a real, working concept of how God sees us. Let’s give it a shot… or at least a first shot.

1. Let’s just start by getting an idea of the ups and downs of physical attractiveness: What are the advantages of being good looking? Go around the group and come up with as many advantages as you can. Now, what are the disadvantages of being physically attractive? List as many of the downsides as you can. (10 minutes)

2. Whether you are unhappy with your looks overall or not, there is probably at least one feature of your body you would like to change. Aren’t those things the very ones that we tend to focus on? Well, let’s do something different. Let’s look at the upside: an amazing and wonderful thing about how God created you. Think of any one of your physical characteristics that you feel really good about – (or at least OK about). (i.e., eye color, height, strength, energy, coordination, straight toes…. Now, if you REALLY can’t think of something you can ask your group for help – but no fair to use this to fish for compliments!). Once you have that feature (or features) in mind write them down. Stop right now and thank God that you are so wonderfully made – that He knit that feature into you even before you were born. Now – just take a minute or two and go around and have each of you say what it is about your body that you are thankful for. (This might be hard to do for some – and if so, you can pass… but please do TRY to share this.) (10 minutes)

3. Have you ever known someone who you thought looked “smoking hot” (to use Ted’s language) when you met them, but when you got to know them, you thought they were a pretty jerky person – or if not a jerk, then desperately unhappy? Take a minute or two to think about the circumstances that led you to think of that person’s “inside” as being unattractive. Next, picture that person’s face in your mind right now. Do they seem good looking to you now– or as attractive as they did when you first met them? Now switch focus: think about someone you REALLY love. What comes to your mind when you picture that person in your mind’s eye? Are they “beautiful”? (…or maybe the concept of physical beauty isn’t even relevant when you think of a person you love). Take 5 minutes or so and just share in the group your observations about the connection between what you think or feel about someone and how they “look” to you.

4. Now see if you can think of a point in your life when you felt very loved – and then think of who was loving you… either another person, or God. Did you feel beautiful? (Or – another way to get at this: Would it have been possible for you to think of yourself as “ugly” when you were feeling so much love?) (I do have a hard time imagining any answer but feeling great. But if that’s not true for you, then note that as something to share in the group or take to God.) As you probably guessed, the point of this “question” is to reinforce that hooking into love makes your physical appearance so much less important. Discuss this. (10 minutes)

5. Let’s finish up by focusing on Ted’s points about God’s “make over” project in our lives. As we learn at so many points in the Bible, God is working on some new clothes for us, which He designed to make us look fantastic. So let’s see how we’re doing at getting dressed. Just using Paul’s letter to the Colossian church with one of the verses Ted used in his message, see if you can identify a wardrobe change that God has worked in you.

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12

Pick one of the items of “clothing” above where you think God has changed what you wear - in any way. Write that down, then also write down anything about how did He did it (i.e., what events or methods He used) and write that down too. Take some time for those who would like to share answers in the group. (10 minutes)

Conclude by taking 2-3 minutes to look at the Colossians list and individually write down the next “piece of clothing” you’d like God to change. Pray about that – then write down a 15 minute time in the next week when you can find to look up as many Bible verses as you can on that piece of clothing. ( A fast search tool is at Bible Gateway: http://www.biblegateway.com/ ). Also, check out the additional Bible topics on this subject at the end of this post.

Scripture verses from the message:

“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus.”
1 Corinthians 1: 27-30

"But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things human beings look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.""
1 Samuel 16: 7

“ For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.”
Psalm 139:13-16

“May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love, and may you have the power to understand and grasp, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, how deep His love really is. ”
Ephesians 3:18

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
1 Corinthians 6:19 – 20

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
Colossians 3:12

Other Bible passages/verses related to the message:

Isaiah 41:9-11; Isaiah 43:1,4 and 54:10: God's view of us, our identity in him
Romans 12:1-2: How we respond to God with our bodies
Colossians 2:8: Be careful about the way the world thinks
I Peter 3:3-4: Real beauty is inner beauty
II Corinthians 4:16-18: What's happening spiritually is different from what is happening physically to our bodies.


Related Next-Step Resources:

Want to see who you really are in Christ? Check out http://www.ficm.org/whoami.htm

Books on the topic:

• To Be Told - Know Your Story Shape Your Future by Dan Allender

• Boundaries: When to Say Yes and When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud
  
• Search for Significance by Robert McGee
  

(all available at Gateway's Bookstore)

Sunday messages available at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive (Sunday messages usually available by the following Tuesday)

Don't forget to work on/finish the ID Timeline (PDF format) from last week

ID: Identity Theft

Series: ID
Identity Theft by John Burke - March 11, 2007

We’ve got a new series – but we still have a common theme: Freedom. In the last series it was about financial freedom, and this series talks about our freedom to be who God intended us to be. In this first message in the series, John talks about how we often go through life acting like someone different from what God made us to be. So let’s start there.

Most of us have had times where we were supposed to pretend that we’re someone we're not – in a play, a skit, or a costume party. But as John pointed out, there are many other unintended times in our lives when we act like we are someone different from our real selves. Sometimes we know exactly what we are doing, sometimes we are vaguely aware that we are putting on an act, and sometimes we don’t even realize what’s going on. Let’s explore some of these situations.

1. Think back on the last week or two: Can you identify a specific situation where you were “pretending” and you know it: (i.e. you were trying to act more “expert”, more “with-it”, more “caring”, “richer”, more “competent”, or more whatever…). Think about the situation for a minute – when, where, what, and then try to identify WHY you were putting on the act. What made you want people to see you differently than what you are (or think you are), or why you wanted to be different than who you are? Take a few minutes and share with others. Try to keep a list of all the different “whys” that turn us into actors. Do any of those “whys” stick out as ones that tend to make you an actor? (10 minutes)

Spiritual check (just something to think about): Did God know what was true about you in that situation, whether others did or not? (I HOPE you said yes…. If not, check out the Bible verses from John’s message listed below.)

OK – the situation above was one where you knew what was happening and why you were acting, but sometimes it’s not all so clear. Since the goal here is to understand our REAL ID – the one that God knows, we’ll focus the rest of our questions on getting in touch with what is true about us and what might be an act we are not aware of.

2. Now, let’s try to get a picture of what we think is true about ourselves. Take 2 – 3 minutes and write down as many words as you can that describe you. Now, note the three you think are most “YOU” and go around and share your three "you-words". (10 minutes)

3. In the message today, John shared his own “Personal Timeline” and urged us to begin one for ourselves as a way to get in a sense of our real ID. (Refer to the Exercise which was handed out on Sunday, or download the PDF here.) So let’s give it a start. Take a few minutes to think, and then write down the five important points in your life – don’t worry if they are not monumental or “the MOST important ones”… use just what comes to mind. Now think about whether they were “positive” points or “negative” points. Now, make a note for each one about what made the positive points good and the negative points bad. Particularly note any pattern there. Take some time to share ONE of these points and what about it was positive or negative (and if there is relevant pattern there, note that if you wish). (15 minutes)

4. Now, look at your two lists… the lists of “you” words and the list of important life points: For each life point, see if you can put one (or more) of the “you words” next to that point? Now in your group – go around quickly and say what “you word” fit with the event you had noted in the last question. (5 minutes)

5. John pointed out that some of the things we know about ourselves are true, and some are “lies” we learned because others told us something that was different from the truth that God knows. Take a look at your you-words – and try the following: Put a circle around any that you think might not be “true” from God’s point of view. Check to see whether there were any of those words that were linked to one of your life events. Share any insight you get on that as you have time in the group. (5 - 10 minutes)

6. Finally spend some time thinking about the other possible “lies” in the other you-words you noted. Can you think of any important times in your life where each those words/ideas were used by you or someone else about you? Just write those down to take away with you. Also, write down a time during the coming week when you can take 30 minutes to work more on your timeline - to identify more key moments and lessons. Please be sure to ask God to give you His perspective on what are both the truths and lies about the way He made you.

Scripture verses from the message:

“This is what the LORD says--he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you: Do not be afraid.”
Isaiah 44:2

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart."
Jeremiah 1:5

“Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.””
John 8:31-32

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
2 Corinthians 5:17

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God.”
Ephesians 4:22-24

Related Next-Step Resources:

• To Be Told - Know Your Story Shape Your Future by Dan Allender

• Boundaries: When to Say Yes and When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud

(both available at Gateway's Bookstore)

• Sunday messages available at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive (Sunday messages usually available by the following Tuesday)
• Message Handout - ID Timeline (PDF format)

Ka-Ching-Onomics: "God"

Series: Ka-Ching-Onomics
"God" by John Burke - March 4, 2007

This is our final message about money – and how to get the role of money in our lives to square with God’s view of abundant living.

1. Today, John talked about the “elephant in the room” when it comes to talking about church and your money: The belief that churches talk about money so that the church or its leaders will be better off. So let’s start with some honest discussion about this: Do you think that “the church” - and particularly Gateway Church, is about all about making more money? If not Gateway, have you ever thought that about another church? Do any of the answers below describe something you have thought about church/religion and money.

a. Ka-ching: Money is just what EVERYONE is about – it’s human nature… and the church is not any different
b. I’ve seen those guys on TV who always want people to send their money to them – and they take advantage of people who are most vulnerable. There is just no way to trust churches when they start talking money.
c. God teaches that following Him should bring rewards, so it’s natural that the Church would expect to benefit. They just don’t need to get it from me.
d. It really IS about the plastic buckets.
e. Other…..

Take about 10 minutes a talk in your group about any ways you’ve seen/heard a bad mix between money and religion.

2. We’ve talked a lot about money over the last few weeks, and one of the things we’ve learned in this series is that there is more discussion about money in the Bible than about MANY other so-called “spiritual” topics (i.e., prayer, Holy Spirit). Why do you think God spends so much time talking to us about money in the Bible? (10 minutes)

3. This week, John focused on the different reasons people give to a church: guilt, helping meet needs, obedience to God, and/or love for others. Most likely, the way and the amount people give would be different depending on which of these motives is front and center. Take a few minutes to talk about how each of these motives would lead to different approaches to giving. (Briefly share any personal experiences with each of these motivations if you have them.) If you have ever given money to a church or other cause, or give now, what has been the most typical motivation for you? (10 – 15 minutes)

4. Have you ever deliberately tried to “test” God by giving the “first fruits” of what you earn to a church or to some other ministry that you were called to support? If so, talk with your group about what that was like: What made you decided to do it? Was it hard? Was your daily life handicapped as a result? Was it blessed? (10 – 15 minutes)

5. A natural place to end this series is with a “heart check” on the topic of money. Have you changed your general thinking about money as a result of this series and if so, how?

• First, do you really believe that everything you have (all your Jelly Bellies) comes from God… or do you think it is your own production?

• Next, do you REALLY believe that God wants to free you up by helping get your financial life in order?

• Do you think that junking the lies about “stuff”, getting out of debt, starting to save, and honoring God FIRST with your money would make your life better?

Take a few minutes to reflect on these things. Make notes on any thoughts you have. Next, take some time RIGHT NOW – and write down one or two sentences that describe what you think God is/was telling you about YOUR money. Also, write down any things you’ve already done and any things you still want to commit to doing or changing as a result of God talking to you personally about money? Finally, write down a day and time when you will take the steps noted above if you have not already done them. And if you don’t feel any strong motivation to do or change anything – that’s fine. Still, do ask God to show you if there is any area where He wants to expand your understanding and stretch your heart about the role of money in your life. (5 - 10 minutes)

Scripture verses from the message:

“Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income.”
Ecclesiastes 5:10.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Matthew 6:19-21

“Moreover, when God gives people wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil—this is a gift of God.”
Ecclesiastes 5:19

"Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each person should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
2 Corinthians 9:6-7

“So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else's property, who will give you property of your own? No servant can serve two masters…You cannot serve both God and Money.”
Luke 16:11-13

"But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand.”
I Chronicles 29:14

"A tithe [10th part] of everything from the land, whether grain from the soil or fruit from the trees, belongs to the LORD.”
Leviticus 27:30

“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops…then all the nations will call you blessed.”
Malachi 3:10-12

Related Next-Step Resources:
Good Sense Workshop - Gateway U: March 9 & 10.
Sign up and get more info here

Other readings on financial health:
Financial Peace Revisited by David Ramsey
Total Money Makover by David Ramsey
Treasure Principle: Unlocking the Secret of Joyful Giving by Randy Alcorn

(all available at Gateway's Bookstore)