Courageous Living: Parenting

Series: Courageous Living
Parenting by John Burke, September 9, 2007

It doesn’t matter whether you are a parent or not. This message applies to you. One way or another – we’ve all HAD parents – or at least parent substitutes, and usually the imprint they have had on our lives has a big impact on the way we treat (or will treat) our own children… or an impact on other people that we direct, coach and “train” in other ways (work, sports, church, hobbies, etc.). It’s worth taking a look at what courageous parenting looks like and what we can learn from our own parenting experiences.

(If you are discussing this in a larger group – there will be some thinking, note taking and then some sharing in pairs, as well as the group overall. So be sure you have a paper and pen and select a discussion partner.)

1. John started out by noting how hard it is to be a parent today. He said that parenting is, in many ways, a spiritual battle. An interesting first step could be to get a handle on how and why parenting is such challenge… and why it takes courage. Take about 10 minutes to list some of the reasons why it is hard to be a good parent.

2. In the message John outlined three key aspects parenting:

• Blessings (affirming the real and good parts of a child’s character)
• Discipline (training/reinforcing good behavior and discouraging unacceptable behavior)
• Protection (taking care of and shielding from harm – either immediate or eventual).

Let’s take a look at the person that is/wants ot be our ultimate parent – God himself: Go around the group, and give an example of how you see, or have experienced God in one of those ways. This can be “conceptual” (i.e., He provides for our physical needs) or detailed and personal (for example, a time when you experienced very specific protection from Him). (10 minutes)

3. Now, what about our parents here on earth? In the message, John urged us to really think through our own parents (or the persons that played a parent role for us). Naturally you can’t do this thoroughly in a group, but try to begin the process now. First, think about the three key areas of parenting. Then, start with “Blessings” and think about a way, or an example of how, your parent(s) affirmed/encouraged who you are … or if not your parent – someone else. Write that down. NOW – see whether you can think of a an example of how you have parented someone else in a very similar way (either your own children – or in some other role). Write that down too. Now pair off and share your examples with each other.

Now go through the same process for Discipline and Protection.
Take 7 – 10 minutes for each area of parenting.

4. Next in the group, share some of your insights from the paired discussions. Try to focus on two questions: (10 minutes)

• Do people tend to be parents in the same way they were parented? Note examples.
• When people DON’T parent in the same way… why not? What makes things different for them?
  

5. As usual, let’s close with personal reflection. Just spend a few minutes thinking about whether you have noticed anything that you want to think through more. Is there some aspect of your parenting (whether you are an actual parent or not) that you want to change? If so, write that down. But don’t stop there… think of ONE way you can demonstrate that change this week and write it down. If you think you need to do a more extended “inventory” of your own parental experiences as John suggested, write down when you can make an appointment with yourself to go deeper. (Also, check out the Parenting workshop that Kathy Burke will be doing on October 14th - see below). Close by looking at the prayer from Ephesians 3:14 - 19 below. Pray that prayer for your child or someone else you can support and ask God to help you make that real. (3 – 5 minutes).


Bible verses from message:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against…the spiritual forces of evil.
Ephesians 6:12.

I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Ephesians 3:14-19

Encourage one another daily…so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. Hebrews 3:13

Do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6

“You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
John 8:31-32

Related Next-Step Resources:

• Gateway U Parenting Workshop with Kathy Burke on October 14th
• Search for books on Parenting at the Gateway Bookstore.
• Take a look at lots of different ways to get involved at Gateway along with a test gauge your talents and spiritual gifts at Gateway activities at the One Body Gateway website.
• Check out spiritual growth resources at Gateway's Way of Christ Next-Steps Website)
• Prior Sunday message is usual available by the Tuesday following the message (audio available at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive)