Get an E-Life: My Space

Series: Get an E-Life
My Space by Ted Beasley - July 22, 2007

Coming back from his sabbatical time and all the “space” he had over the last two months, Ted jumped right back in with a message about our circles of relationships – and My Space was the jumping in point. So let’s start there too.

1. Do you have your own space in My Space? If not, have you ever visited the website? Take 5-10 minutes just to talk about this virtual community: what it is, how it works, personal impressions…? (If you are doing this on-line – try checking out the site at http://www.myspace.com/ if you haven’t been there yet – but be sure to come back!).

2. Ted used the conclusion of (the apostle) Paul’s letter to the Romans as a way to describe the different levels of relationships that we experience . We’ll dive into some of those layers next, but for now, let’s focus on the feeling of loneliness that comes with thinking there are no real relationships. Ted quoted John Donne who wrote “No man is an island”. But don’t most of us feel like we are at times? Can you recall a time in your past when you felt very much like an island? Focus on that time and see if you can identify what changed your feelings. Spend some time in the group for people to share what helped them feel less alone. (If you are feeling that way now, we’ll talk about that very shortly.) (10 minutes)

3. Let’s take some time for you to map out your relationship space. Ted described four levels of relationship (from Edward Hall’s “Proximics”):
* Public – sharing an association but not personal interaction (i.e. fans of UT)
* Social – having a personal relationship without sharing really personal information (i.e., many of the people you work with or a social group)
* Personal – your closer “friends” with whom you share many things about each other (i.e., your personal histories, your likes and dislikes, your opinions)
* Intimate – those very close relationships where you share your heart, your flaws, your dreams (i.e., your “best” friend, your spouse, a close family member)

First, just stop and think for a minute or two about each one of these levels, one-by-one. Jot down some notes about who are the types of people (and specific people at the intimate level) who are in your space. Pair off and talk about your relationship map. Next, discuss the balance: are you OK with the numbers and people at the different circles? Based on the insights from your pair discussions, take about 5 minutes in the larger group to talk about the different ways our relationship circles can feel out of “balance”… (i.e., too many acquaintances but not enough close friends, or too many “close friends” to maintain, etc.) Finally, brainstorm in the group to talk about how to “rebalance” the circles: specifically addressing each one of the balance problems your group noted. (20 - 25 minutes total).

4. Now, let’s take some of these “lessons” from the group discussion and try to make it personal. Pair off again and talk specifically about each of person’s overall relationship net. If you could only change one part, what would it be? Brainstorm ideas with each other to the change you want. (You can consider some of the suggestions Ted included in his message like “welcoming” interruptions, stepping up to “be there” for someone you want to develop a personal relationship with, taking risks and sharing part of yourself in an intimate relationship.) (10 minutes)

5. During the message, Ted noted that Paul centered his own “My Space” with Jesus in the center. Then at the end of the message Ted mentioned that Paul had the “conviction of belonging”. Have you had that experience of having greater confidence because you have the right relationship connections? Having the right center can make you centered. In Isaiah 43, God says to His people “I have called you by name, you are Mine.” How about you? Where would Jesus put you on His My Space page? Take a couple of minutes thinking about whether you want to move closer into His relationship circle. End by stepping back and asking what God is telling you, about your relationship with him and/or with other people. Write down any changes you want to make happen – and if you feel comfortable (and a little bit brave), share that with your discussion partner. Write down an “appointment” time to talk to God more about this during the week. (5 - 7 minutes)

Bible verses from the message:

Say hello to Priscilla and Aquila, who have worked hand in hand with me in serving Jesus. They once put their lives on the line for me. And I'm not the only one grateful to them. All the non-Jewish gatherings of believers also owe them plenty, to say nothing of the church that meets in their house. Hello to my dear friend Epenetus. He was the very first follower of Jesus in the province of Asia. Hello to Mary. What a worker she has turned out to be! Hello to my cousins Andronicus and Junias. We once shared a jail cell. They were believers in Christ before I was. Both of them are outstanding leaders. Hello to Ampliatus, my good friend in the family of God. Hello to Urbanus, our companion in Christ's work, and my good friend Stachys. Hello to Apelles, a tried-and-true veteran in following Christ. Hello to the family of Aristobulus. Hello to my cousin Herodion. Hello to those who belong to the Lord from the family of Narcissus. Hello to Tryphena and Tryphosa—such diligent women in serving the Master. Hello to Persis, a dear friend and hard worker in Christ. Hello to Rufus—a good choice by the Master!—and his mother. She has also been a dear mother to me. Hello to Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas, and also to all of their families. Hello to Philologus, Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas— and all the followers of Jesus who live with them. Holy embraces all around!
Romans 16: 2 – 16

I, Paul, am a devoted slave of Jesus Christ on assignment, authorized as an apostle to proclaim God's words and acts. I write this letter to all the believers in Rome, God's friends.
Romans 1:1

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
Proverbs 17:17

I have called you by name, you are Mine. (NASV)
Isaiah 43:1

Related Next-Step Resources:

• Search for Belonging by Joseph Meyers (available at Gateway's Bookstore)


• Prior Sunday message usually available by the Tuesday following the message for listening or download at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive