ID: You Complete Me

Series: ID
Message Title: You Complete Me
Sunday's Date: March 25, 2007 - Ted Beasley
The message today zeroed in on how our real ID is all about relationship. No accident because, as Ted says, that’s why we were created. The only hitch is, we keep trying to get that connection that “completes us” in something/someone other than God.

1. Ted took us back to those school dances. Can you relate? Ever stood around thinking “pick me, pick me”? If not at a school dance, was there some other event (a club/organization, a sports team, a work group) where you felt the same way? Take a few minutes in your group to talk about the experience and what it felt like wanting to be picked. As you put yourself in the that situation mentally, do you think you were being “authentic” when you related to the other people involved, or were you putting forward your all your best parts – real maybe, but not the whole you? Just reflect on that for a minute or two and let anyone share who has an insight. (10 minutes)

2. Now, a reality check: Ted talked about how we might philosophically accept that God loves us with an unfailing love, but we have trouble believing it in the way we live our lives. Try to fill in the blank that Ted talked about: “Just in case God doesn’t come through for me, I’m counting on ___________ as a back-up.” (i.e., my children, my marriage, my job, my hobbies, my parents…). Now, to borrow a bit from Dr. Phil… “How’s that working for you?” Think about what life feels like when you are trying to fill that blank with something other than God. Write down any words that capture what life feels like when you are using that other thing as an insurance policy on fulfillment. Now, in the group, try to compile a list of the things we use fill in the blank – and a list of the words that describe the pursuit of those things. (10 minutes)

3. Next, let’s focus on the best of relationships. As Ted said – it is really hard to understand the Trinity – but maybe we can get a glimpse, if we think about our own best relationship experiences. We’ve all probably had moments when we were in a relationship “groove” - where it felt like there was a “flow” between us and another person or people. Maybe it was during a focused group activity – music, sports, or a school/work project – or maybe just in one of those special one-on-one moments. Try to identify a time when you were really connected with other(s). What did that feel like? Pair up in your groups for 10 minutes and – share your experience and then the two of you write down as many words as you can that capture the experience. Take some time to share your word list in your group. (15 minutes)

4. Now, lets try to pull all these thoughts together: the wanting to be picked, the looking for something/someone to complete us, the making genuine connection, and how we respond in those situations. We have a lot of word lists at this point: take a look at them all and see whether you can draw any conclusions about what feels “real”: real about being yourself and real about experiencing the best of life. What kinds of relationships make you feel most real? What kinds make you feel most constricted? Talk about any insights you have on this. (10 minutes)

5. Last question – and it’s a big one: Do you REALLY believe that God loves you with an impossible, longing, love – that He’d give anything to dance with you? If not (most of us fall in that category), can you think of a time, big or small, when you were VERY aware of His love for you? Did it feel like (to use Ted’s words…) God was coming after you – pursuing you? If you’ve had that kind of experience, then take some time to talk about it with the others? Also, note whether the experience caused you to change anything in your life. (10 minutes)

To wrap-up – take 5 minutes and just think about your “insurance policy’: what you rely on in case “God” doesn’t work out. How does that goal stack up with the times of knowing God’s love? If you feel like you’d like to put more effort into dancing with God, tell Him – right now. Listen and see what He tells you about your relationship – and write down any insight or next steps you get from this.


“What a person desires is unfailing love.”
Proverbs 19:22

“Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?”
Proverbs 20:6:

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
John 1:1

“I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does.”
John 5:19-20

“ Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory."”
Isaiah 6: 2-3

“Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.”
Ephesians 1:3-6

“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:6-7

“Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.”
Revelation 19:7


Other Bible passages/verses related to the message:
Jeremiah 2, Ezekiel 8, Matthew 9:35f, Psalm 27.

Related Next-Step Resources:

• Want to see who you really are in Christ? Check out http://www.ficm.org/whoami.htm
• Books on the topic:
• To Be Told - Know Your Story Shape Your Future by Dan Allender
• Boundaries: When to Say Yes and When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud
• Search for Significance by Robert McGee
• (all available at Gateway's Bookstore)
• Sunday messages available at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive (Sunday messages usually available by the following Tuesday)
• Don't forget to work on/finish the ID Timeline (PDF format) from the first message in this series