ID: Look at Me!

Series: ID
Look at Me! by Ted Beasley- March 18, 2007

How much of our sense of “self” – our ID, is based on how we look? Most of us KNOW that beauty is only skin deep, but it sure is hard to break that link between how we look and how we feel about ourselves – and then to get a real, working concept of how God sees us. Let’s give it a shot… or at least a first shot.

1. Let’s just start by getting an idea of the ups and downs of physical attractiveness: What are the advantages of being good looking? Go around the group and come up with as many advantages as you can. Now, what are the disadvantages of being physically attractive? List as many of the downsides as you can. (10 minutes)

2. Whether you are unhappy with your looks overall or not, there is probably at least one feature of your body you would like to change. Aren’t those things the very ones that we tend to focus on? Well, let’s do something different. Let’s look at the upside: an amazing and wonderful thing about how God created you. Think of any one of your physical characteristics that you feel really good about – (or at least OK about). (i.e., eye color, height, strength, energy, coordination, straight toes…. Now, if you REALLY can’t think of something you can ask your group for help – but no fair to use this to fish for compliments!). Once you have that feature (or features) in mind write them down. Stop right now and thank God that you are so wonderfully made – that He knit that feature into you even before you were born. Now – just take a minute or two and go around and have each of you say what it is about your body that you are thankful for. (This might be hard to do for some – and if so, you can pass… but please do TRY to share this.) (10 minutes)

3. Have you ever known someone who you thought looked “smoking hot” (to use Ted’s language) when you met them, but when you got to know them, you thought they were a pretty jerky person – or if not a jerk, then desperately unhappy? Take a minute or two to think about the circumstances that led you to think of that person’s “inside” as being unattractive. Next, picture that person’s face in your mind right now. Do they seem good looking to you now– or as attractive as they did when you first met them? Now switch focus: think about someone you REALLY love. What comes to your mind when you picture that person in your mind’s eye? Are they “beautiful”? (…or maybe the concept of physical beauty isn’t even relevant when you think of a person you love). Take 5 minutes or so and just share in the group your observations about the connection between what you think or feel about someone and how they “look” to you.

4. Now see if you can think of a point in your life when you felt very loved – and then think of who was loving you… either another person, or God. Did you feel beautiful? (Or – another way to get at this: Would it have been possible for you to think of yourself as “ugly” when you were feeling so much love?) (I do have a hard time imagining any answer but feeling great. But if that’s not true for you, then note that as something to share in the group or take to God.) As you probably guessed, the point of this “question” is to reinforce that hooking into love makes your physical appearance so much less important. Discuss this. (10 minutes)

5. Let’s finish up by focusing on Ted’s points about God’s “make over” project in our lives. As we learn at so many points in the Bible, God is working on some new clothes for us, which He designed to make us look fantastic. So let’s see how we’re doing at getting dressed. Just using Paul’s letter to the Colossian church with one of the verses Ted used in his message, see if you can identify a wardrobe change that God has worked in you.

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12

Pick one of the items of “clothing” above where you think God has changed what you wear - in any way. Write that down, then also write down anything about how did He did it (i.e., what events or methods He used) and write that down too. Take some time for those who would like to share answers in the group. (10 minutes)

Conclude by taking 2-3 minutes to look at the Colossians list and individually write down the next “piece of clothing” you’d like God to change. Pray about that – then write down a 15 minute time in the next week when you can find to look up as many Bible verses as you can on that piece of clothing. ( A fast search tool is at Bible Gateway: http://www.biblegateway.com/ ). Also, check out the additional Bible topics on this subject at the end of this post.

Scripture verses from the message:

“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus.”
1 Corinthians 1: 27-30

"But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things human beings look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.""
1 Samuel 16: 7

“ For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.”
Psalm 139:13-16

“May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love, and may you have the power to understand and grasp, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, how deep His love really is. ”
Ephesians 3:18

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
1 Corinthians 6:19 – 20

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
Colossians 3:12

Other Bible passages/verses related to the message:

Isaiah 41:9-11; Isaiah 43:1,4 and 54:10: God's view of us, our identity in him
Romans 12:1-2: How we respond to God with our bodies
Colossians 2:8: Be careful about the way the world thinks
I Peter 3:3-4: Real beauty is inner beauty
II Corinthians 4:16-18: What's happening spiritually is different from what is happening physically to our bodies.


Related Next-Step Resources:

Want to see who you really are in Christ? Check out http://www.ficm.org/whoami.htm

Books on the topic:

• To Be Told - Know Your Story Shape Your Future by Dan Allender

• Boundaries: When to Say Yes and When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud
  
• Search for Significance by Robert McGee
  

(all available at Gateway's Bookstore)

Sunday messages available at Gateway's Sunday Message Archive (Sunday messages usually available by the following Tuesday)

Don't forget to work on/finish the ID Timeline (PDF format) from last week